AS my toddler grew up and imitated me more, I had no choice but to rush to fix my relationship with my phone, as that's one thing I don't want him to emulate. I still find myself doom-scrolling from time to time, but it's now scheduled. As a stay-at-home mom with two under two who also has goals in life, I figured that if I theme my days and set aside time for distractions, I'd be able to focus more on the task at hand because I know that those distractions have their own schedules as well. They only have to wait for their turn.
While I was doom-scrolling a few days ago, I saw a viral post by someone who photographed a middle-aged man in weary clothes. I believe he works at a construction site or something because I noticed the paint on his torso. The young woman gave manong her food and drink “kasi kawawa naman”. At the end of her post, she encouraged others to do the same when they saw another kawawa manong. Her post garnered thousands of likes and shares, and people in the comment section applauded her for her generous act.
I, too, envy people who are in a position to help. But is pity a form of kindness? I don’t think so.
When you pity someone, you put yourself in a superior position. You view yourself as stronger and more capable and perceive them as weaker and unfortunate. But what if manong is actually content with who he is and where he is in life? Is that something to be pitied on? It is insulting to treat people as though their existence is something to lament as it undermines their sense of self-worth and individuality. To put it simply, pity is arrogance masquerading as empathy.
I hope those who share such content, including foreign influencers who come to the Philippines only to exploit the underprivileged will stop making this poverty porn.
If you want to help people out of genuine love and compassion, then treat them as your fellow human beings with dignity and worthy of respect. Get to know them for who they really are, learn why they do what they do or what keeps them going in life. If only we saw manong from this perspective, we would have heard a story of why you don’t have to die to be a hero.
(Hasmeyya L. Tiboron is a Bangsamoro writer from Cotabato City. She may talk 'around' politics but not 'about' politics. As a writer, her opinions do not necessarily reflect her religion or the people and institutions she is connected with. As a person, she adheres to the orthodox peaceful version of Islam and is against terrorism in all its forms.)
