Coughing hyena

Netnet Camomot .

“SHE… blows her nose, and I picture the neat way she does it, folding the Kleenex in half, then folding it again and again.”

Oh. Is that me? But that’s from Dave King’s “The Ha-ha,” one of the books gathering dust in the cabinet in this room with a view, it has finally caught my attention, and I’m now reading it. Yay!

‘Tis the season for coughs and… Achooo! My version began last week with a sore throat due to… No, not the weather. Due to chocolates. At least two doctors have already warned me to avoid chocolates, avoid sweets, avoid ice and ice-cold drinks. But the chocolates were too yummy to resist. I wasn’t feeling well anymore by Wednesday last week. Still, I went out of the house on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Because I refused to stay home and rest, I was already coughing like a hyena while watching the Pacquiao-Thurman fight on Sunday.

Wait, do hyenas cough? But they do laugh. Wait, they don’t laugh; they… Whatever they do, I did sound like a coughing hyena which Urban Dictionary describes as, “One who expels bacteria infected mucus by coughing extremely loud, consistently and profusely to the point where you want to inflict pain upon that person so they stop being so annoying. And they still keep coughing.” Uh and ewww. Good thing Sen. Manny Pacquiao wasn’t seated beside me during a block screening of “The Lion King” last Saturday night.

Pacquiao is now back home and busy with his senatorial duties and responsibilities although he missed President Rody Duterte’s State of the Nation Address (Sona). He had to rest first per his doctor’s advice before taking the long flight back to Pinas.

There was no victory parade upon his arrival in Manila. Tsk tsk. The honeymoon is so over. It’s time for him to retire as hinted by his chief trainer and consultant Freddie Roach who was quoted by the Philippine Daily Inquirer as saying, “Manny, he fought a great fight last night. He took a little too many hits, and maybe a little bit too much punishment. So we have to sit down and talk and see who’s next or maybe it (fighting career) might be over.”

But Keith Thurman’s wish for a rematch might inspire Pacquiao to morph into a genie and grant that wish, requiring another round of absences from Senate sessions. Ano ba talaga, Kuya—boxing or the Senate? Or is he starting to sound like Rod Tidwell (Cuba Gooding Jr.) in “Jerry Maguire”: “Show me the money!”

There’s also money in the Senate—supposedly, reportedly, allegedly. Oh, they meant, there’s Manny in the Senate. Hehe.

One of the changes then House Speaker wannabe Alan Peter Cayetano wanted to propose was the extension of the representathieves’, er, representatives’ term limits: “While we will push for federalism, I think there is a way that the Senate will agree that we push either for 4 years, no term limit or 5-years, 3-term limit (ABS-CBN News, 7/11/19).”

Whaaaaat?!

And he justified that with, “It is not a political thing. It is a practical thing.”

In case your jaws are now on the floor, with your index finger and thumb caressing your double chin, here’s justification pa more from Cayetano: “You are elected in May. You take office in June. ‘Yung 6 months you’re still getting organized. Kung kalaban mo nakaupo, ubos na ‘yung pondo. Di ba? Nage-explain ka pa sa tao bakit hindi mo nade-deliver lahat?”

And more: “Your budget starts in January. That’s only 1 year. 2020. Because of 2021, everyone’s thinking of 2022. Then the cycle starts again.”

If “Ang Probinsyano” can keep on going and going like the Energizer Bunny, so can the representatives? To give the teleserye more ideas for its plot, and to make it easier for the Pinoy to compare fiction versus reality: Hmmm, that kontrabida sounds familiar.

One secret behind “Probinsyano’s” success must be that familiarity as it continues to serve as the savior for has-beens, much like the Senate serving as a refuge for comebacking actors, er, senators, with Sen. Lito Lapid proving that he could have the best of both worlds.

Sen. Bong Revilla, though, might feel OOP—out of place—without his co-alleged plunderer, er, co-actor and best friend, former Sen. Jinggoy Estrada, and he should not be surprised if he senses some raised eyebrows as he squeezes himself into the senatorial food chain again. “It’s the circle of life / And it moves us all / Through despair and hope / Through faith and love / Till we find our place / On the path unwinding / In the circle / The circle of life.”

Let’s sing na lang? Para enjoy. And Duterte did sing after delivering his Sona, with the Philippine Philharmonic Orchestra accompanying him.