Ah, those marketing ads

I HAVEN’T got to writing this column for a long time. In fact, for a long, long time since “The Legal Wife” TV series ended.

But here I am again.

It caught my attention, for starters, those tele-marketing that politicians employed as early as last month. Rodrigo Duterte who is rumored to be running for president has his now-famous TV ads. Some others use consumer goods as their venue for showing their faces on TV and billboards.

And as the Comelec has said all along, there is no violation of campaign rules as technically no one is a candidate yet as the filing of the certificates of candidacy will only be in October 2015. So no campaign rules violations being committed, the politicians will have their heyday in advanced advertising.

So do the owners of hotels and inns, of hostels and motels. They fight for advertising their rooms with a host of schemes. Some offer free breakfasts and the quintessential free wi-fi without telling the would-be guests that the free breakfast is much smaller than a snack. Or that it consists of two spoonfuls of corned beef, a little fried egg and half a cup of rice and a sachet of coffee. That is not even a decent breakfast to most of us. Nevertheless, it’s free.

And hotels don’t inform the guests that the free wi-fi is available only in the lobby with a very slow speed and that it’s practically absent in the rooms. Or that, oftentimes, the front desk clerk would tell you that their Internet is down for the moment, and again without telling the hapless guest that the “moment” was actually six months ago, and six months into the future. In short, the free wi-fi is really no wi-fi at all.

And the eye-catching advert that the hotel room is only P375 for 12 hours was beaten by one that advertises that a room here is only P250 for 12 hours. That is even cheaper than the motel rate of P175 for a “short-time,” which is actually only three hours, which is actually P700 for 12 hours of use.

And this is beaten finally by the new hotel advertising that its rooms are “pay only for the hours you use.” Pay-by-the-hour. This is something new. I should probably try it sometime to know how much is it per hour because these are decent hotels and not the ordinary motels. Ah, those advertising ploys.

Other hotels offer free sauna or fitness gym use while some provide an extra night free after 10 nights as guest. But who checks in for 10 straight nights? This is similar to the mushrooming massage parlors who advertise in many unique ways their services.Some promote traditional, native “hilot” as compared to Thai or Swedish massage. Others promote oils like they come from the mountains of Timbuktu and are so rare that other parlors don’t know the secret source of the oils. Ah, those advertising ploys.

It’s just but fortunate that lawyers and doctors and dentists are not allowed by law to advertise like what is allowed in America or in some European countries where advertising of professional services practically use up two-thirds of the telephone directories. Imagine how it will be if dentists will advertise that after 10 teeth pulled out, the next 10 teeth are pulled out free? Anyone?

Or what if some doctors advertise that surgery is free if the patient dies during the operation? Pay only if you survive? Accountants and veterinarians and engineers can only hang a shingle for their offices. Nothing can be employed as marketing like soap and sardines.

And as the world of advertising evolves over the years, the means of advertising become an interesting study of how humans respond to marketing strategies. Internet marketing and search engine optimization, and even Facebook, has changed all these. Advertising has become a million-dollar industry.

Even this newspaper which hosts my columns has its own way of adapting to advertising. And the coming elections will, as ever, be a rich source of advertising income.

So the next time a visitor comes to Cagayan de Oro for a convention, a business meeting or a simple vacation, he should watch out and look for all the new advertising ploys. It’s like a treasure hunt. Look for the Business Section of Gold Star Daily, and see what’s new from the advertisers.It could really, really be something new. Something like free rooms for certified nerds. Or free massage for blind guests.

(Joe Pallugna is a lawyer based in Cagayan de Oro. E-mail: joepallugna@yahoo.com)