Vice is not always ganda

Netnet Camomot

THE violet vice mayor is reportedly happy, thanks to the possibility of having a violet mayor again even before the 2016 election.

Distance yourself for a while from AlDub and OTWOL, and listen to the latest news in Cagayan de Oro: the yellow mayor has been dismissed from service by the ombudsman. The cause: the Ajinomoto tax reduction case. And guess who’s going to replace him? Excited much?

But then, the yellow mayor says he was unaware of the reduction. Hmmm. Estoryahe? So, that makes the city treasurer as the one and only guy to be blamed for the MSG mess. There are other stories we’ve heard about the city treasurer but since those are personal and probably didn’t affect his work, kung saan siya masaya… Which was supposedly his mood in those “stories”–masaya.

Though personal, those stories were, uh, performed for the public to see, er, at least for a public that happened to be around when those stories were being performed, so does the public display make the stories public in nature? Whew.

The only goal in life is to be happy. So, the city treasurer was on the right track after all. Or should that be in present tense, if he’s still allowed to be city treasurer, that is. He is on the right track, which Martin Nievera used to sing once upon a time–you’re on the right traaaaack!

There’s this unwritten rule for public officials, that they should behave whenever they’re in public no matter what time of the day it is, even at 1 am, they should always behave. Behind closed doors, though, they can, well, have “fun,” you know, let their hair down, yeah! But in public, behave. Some of them love to go around in barong, and that somehow makes us believe they’re prim and proper, can’t break glass, will always have their hands clasped in prayer.

There’s this chika that MSG has affected the brains of the yellow mayor and the city treasurer, and that’s the reason their intelligence went duh when it came to the Ajinomoto case. Hehe. If that’s true, then it’s time for us, the madlang pehpohl to stop using MSG, too. For who are we compared to them? They’re intelligent, we are not. So, if MSG is enough to destroy their brains, how much more for our duh brains? Bugok pa more?

The next question now is, who will replace the vice? No, not vice as in drugs, alcohol, and gambling. Vice as in vice mayor, vice governor, vice president. For CDO, it’s vice mayor of course until it becomes Republic of CDO which will require having a vice president for the president.

Some of the city councilors are of course eager to serve the public as vice mayor. This is the best time to grab that opportunity, about seven months before Election Day, especially if they’ve joined the fun run towards a higher position. Media mileage is assured for the new vice, what with both local and national media expected to ask for his sound bites. Now, if only that new vice has a sound mind behind the bite. Ah, hehe.

This could be the time when the new vice’s political color won’t matter anymore. Some city councilors have already hopped from yellow to orange or violet, whoever will end up replacing the violet vice mayor will probably be confused once he or she is celebrating the newly acquired higher position: Yehey for the yellow! Oops, violet na man diay.

There’s one more color in CDO in addition to yellow, violet and orange, in case you have forgotten that Barangay Carmen is truly a part of the city, and that is green which is the color of the District 1 congressman. You don’t even have to make a wild guess on the color he prefers. Simply look at his tents. Thus, when he expressed his support for the yellow party, he was following the law of nature, and that is for green to be paired with yellow to come up with yellow-green.

But then, the orange District 2 congressman and now mayoral candidate was expecting the green color to be merged with his orange, which could be an impossible dream since green-orange or orange-green doesn’t exist yet, not even as a tertiary color. Besides, mixing orange and green may result to brown, the color of poo, or a monk’s habit–take your pick.

Well, the happiest vice ever could be Vice Ganda despite AlDub’s presence in his noontime show’s rival. In last Sunday’s “Gandang Gabi Vice,” his guests surprised him with a recorded message from one of his exes. Among the many touching thoughts the ex revealed was this: “Basta tandaan mo, kahit maraming nagbago sa ‘tin. May jowa na ako, ikaw alam natin may jowa ka na rin. Pero ako, hindi mawawala ang pagmamahal ko sa ‘yo.” Aw! Ang sweet naman.

Buti pa si Vice, may love; ang CDO vice, wala? Hehe. I’m sure that’s not what the CDO vice mayor is looking forward to since he’d rather see those violet curtains inside the city mayor’s office again.