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By Netnet Camomot .

Reading Alan Bennett’s “Writing Home” felt like I was preparing for an exam. 612 pages. Whew.

I’m the type that would finish anything I started—eat the last cinnamon roll, grab the last slice of blueberry cheesecake, squeeze the tiniest bit of catsup out of the packet. And that’s also true for books. Deep sigh of relief upon reaching page 612.

With all these books to be read, only bookworms will stay home for the long Easter weekend. The rest of humanity will be on top of that hill in El Nido from where they could have a better view of its islands. It’s a hill, not even a mountain, but I said, Nope, I’d rather be a beached whale with all these moored boats waiting for me to get outta here.

Islands and beaches are the best summer destinations. Oops. Not summer. It’s called dry season. Kana bang uga.

If you believe your immune system can protect you against Covid-19 and all of its variants, then go ahead and travel. No one can stop you, anyway, not even the pandemic. The show must go on. Life goes on. Moving on. Moving forward. Carpe diem.

But Georgia O’Keeffe once said, “Anyone with any degree of mental toughness ought to be able to exist without the things they like most for a few months at least.”

With that quote in mind, be always prepared for the Inter-Agency Task Force’s Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) when the going gets toughest, like what it has done to NCR Plus (Metro Manila, Bulacan, Cavite, Laguna, and Rizal). And if you’ve been partying, please shut up once your hometown is placed under ECQ—you’re part of the problem, therefore, you have no right to complain.

The village’s homeowners association had a recorida on Saturday to remind residents about the minimum public health standards and the village’s number of Covid-19 cases. I think I heard the word “kadanghag.” Something like, Kung natakdan ka ug ang imong pamilya ug silingan tungod sa imong kadanghag…

That’s the beauty of Bisaya—brutally frank. But I heard some people in one corner of the village still had housewarming parties on Saturday and Sunday. Hmmm. They probably couldn’t understand Bisaya.

I gotta feeling the discipline required for staying home is much like that of a diet regimen. Kind of strict ang parents ko.

Stay home or else…

…Pinas’s Covid-19 situation will worsen. The country had another record-breaker with the 10,016 new cases on Monday, its highest daily tally ever, as of that day, that is. Its first time to breach the 10,000 mark since the pandemic began. Tsk tsk. These record-breaking figures are starting to look like a social climber. Katkat pa more.

Stop eating that or else…

…you’ll gain weight, the bilbil will go forth and multiply, the mile-wide butt will go wider and wilder.

Cause and effect. Which can be a good topic for your Holy Week retreat. Results, consequences, repercussions.

I’m now re-reading Dr. Phil McGraw’s “The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom.” I read this book years ago but still gained weight, so let’s see (pronounced as that Spanish word for milk) if the “7 Keys” are lovelier the second time around.

Although I’ve stopped eating red meat since January, I still eat meatballs, proving that balls are harder to ignore. Kung sa Tagalog pa, sagabal. I mean, I could ignore Lumpiang Shanghai. So, why not meatballs when they’re both basically made of the same ingredients, except for the lumpia wrapper. Here’s hoping McGraw’s book would ease my confusion.

I’ve been buying diet books since the ‘90s and they’re now waiting to be read or re-read. If one doesn’t work, there’s that wishful thinking for the next to reveal a better miracle diet. But I do know now that the healthy way of losing weight has no shortcuts. Been there, done that with fiber pills, protein shakes, South Beach Diet, etc.—I’d lose weight, and gain it all back, plus more.

The best diet is the one that you can live with forevermore. It’s like a love story. You know how it is when you think you’ve found The One: “How do I live without you? / I want to know / How do I breathe without you? / If you ever go / How do I ever, ever survive / How do I, how do I, oh how do I live.”