Essentials

IF only the World Health Organization will finally declare the pandemic over, then we can all move on and forget about face masks. My coping mechanisms have remained the same, though: electronic dance music (EDM), writing, reading, spring cleaning, and dancing to EDM.

There’s this saying, “Man plans, and God laughs,” whose meaning became obvious when the pandemic arrived. People were caught unaware and had to immediately adjust to the lockdowns. But then, we understand now why laughter is the best medicine. So, let’s laugh along with God. Hahaha. But first, we need a joke. Here’s one, from Dad.

One Sunday morning, Mama Maria asks his son Hesus to buy salt at the market. Since this is the first time him to leave the barrio, he asks his mom what a market is. His mom replies, “Basta kanang dako nga building nga daghan tawo.” He starts his long trek to the town proper. Until he reaches a building with many people inside. There’s a man wearing what looks like a white long gown, he’s talking in a loud voice, and is now asking, “Unsay tuyo ni Hesus diri sa kalibutan?” And Hesus replies, “Mopalit ug asin!”

Dad loved jokes, he bought Tito, Vic, and Joey cassette tapes which we had memorized as we repeatedly listened to them. When he got older, I gave him joke books I’ve chosen to keep so I can laugh whenever necessary.

Aside from joke books, I’ve collected Cathy Guisewite’s “Cathy” comic books, Manix Abrera’s “Kikomachine Komix” series, Jessica Zafra’s “Twisted” books, and other funny anything.

Well, these books were funny before the pandemic, but they’re not that funny anymore. I guess the kind of jokes I like has changed.

Laughter and jokes are essentials. Every survival kit should have them. But if we have a sense of humor, we may manage to see the funny side of the worst of times. It’s a Pinoy trait, to still smile no matter what happens. It can be because of our faith in God, or the belief that we can always move on, or that we can survive as long as there’s rice.

Now that I’m on a low-carb diet, I tend to comment whenever a contest’s prize is rice. I’d always ask, Why rice? And the host would say, Okay, let’s give veggies then. And there I am saying, Veggies have oxalates. This debate would eventually go back to rice since it’s the most practical. I mean, who wants to win pork, beef, chicken, fish, or eggs? Lechon perhaps. But not raw pork.

Low-carb is yummy. I had always thought that lechon is best paired with rice that’s mixed with dinuguan. But lechon and dinuguan are even yummier without the rice since I can now savor their taste to the fullest. Think of the possibilities: medium-rare steak, grilled pork belly, chicken adobo, pork adobo, liempo, bacon, scrambled eggs with butter, fried kutob, salmon paksiw, pompano paksiw, boneless bangus belly paksiw. Obviously I’m now obsessed with paksiw or inun-on. I wonder how bacon paksiw tastes like. Hmmm.

Sugar is not essential. Salt is essential. Mama Maria and Hesus were so right after all about buying salt.

It’s easier to fast while on a low-carb diet. Proteins and fats can help you fast for 18 hours or more. But try fasting with high-carb and you’ll be hungry after an hour.

So, that’s low-carb fasting. And you have to sleep for eight hours. And you have to keep the faith. It’s not just the food. It’s about everything that affects your health.