Chivalry unlocked: Decoding decency

IS chivalry gone? Has it been fed to the dogs?

Chivalry is defined by Collins as polite, kind, and unselfish behavior—especially by men toward women.

But is chivalry truly distinct from decency? I don’t think so. What we perceive as chivalrous acts often align with plain decency. Perhaps we get confused because chivalry tends to be directed more at men.

Let’s focus on decency. A word that is broad and crosses across cultures and generations. Decency is our guiding principle that molds how we interact with fellow beings, both at the workplace and beyond the four walls of our offices. We don’t learn it at the workplace or on the busy streets of Cagayan de Oro. It starts at the heart of our community—at home.

Our families are the foundation of our society. They are our first community. Our parents, siblings, cousins, Titos, Titas, Lolos, and Lolas are whom we first learn about love, trust, and respect. It starts on the four corners of our homes. These are not just rules. It’s our moral compass.

Let’s be more specific. Let’s talk about men and decency. A decent man knows that respect for women goes beyond mere politeness. It’s not that hard to be polite. Some even fake being polite, but you can not fake decency. It even goes beyond treating women as equals. A decent man does not treat women as objects or conquests—a feather in their cap, as they say. Women should be valued as human beings and not as objects of desire.

Decency isn’t men’s sole responsibility. Women can call for action to encourage the rebirth of this lost generation. Women, especially those in influential positions, can amplify women’s voices.

But where do we start? It begins with honoring the first woman we encountered—the one who brought us into this world, our mother. Respecting and upholding her rights means not “turning a blind eye” to your father’s wrongdoing. As women, we should be standing up against this immorality. Our mothers deserve the utmost respect, like the society we serve. When women respect other women, it creates a ripple effect.

Decency and chivalry—is not a lost cause. It begins at home, and let’s all be influencers in our workplaces and communities. Let’s be more proactive in creating a more decent world. A world where respect knows no bounds, and every woman stands tall and proud.