The kitchen sink

Netnet Camomot

WITH less than a week till Election Day, the question  now is, Who are you voting for?

In other words, “Do you know where you’re going to?” Since each candidate will bring you somewhere once he wins as you join his journey towards the goals he promised to the madlang pehpohl during the campaign season. That is, if he does have goals.

Goal-setting for public service is a must for every politician. For he can’t simply have goals for his own pocket. Oops.

But campaign season is the time to throw everything except the kitchen sink at political candidates, so that the “presidentiable” from Davao City is now being accused of allegedly having deposited hundreds of millions of, uh, centavos with BPI.

How ironic is that, for a “presidentiable” whose favorite expression is PI, to have a bank account with BPI. And, as I wrote in a previous column, his PI doesn’t translate to Philippine Islands. It’s more like, p@#$%^g ina, which happens to be my favorite, too.

When I have to rush to somewhere early in the morning, there’s my mouth, enunciating those two words ever so eloquently: PI!

When I bump my knee onto the sharp corner of the center table: PI!

When things don’t work out the way I want them to: PI!

PI is there to express frustration over anything. Better that than drugs, drinking, and smoking, eh?

Anyone with a BPI bank account is probably wondering now, What if the Bureau of Internal Revenue learns I have hundreds of millions of centavos, too, with BPI? Will the tax collector take that against me?

Hmmm, nope. Provided you can justify the multi-million centavo account with a legitimate source of income. Because if you can’t, yay, good luck na lang.

Innocent until proven guilty is the peg in most accusations against political candidates when it comes to their bank deposits. OK, that goes for all other accusations. Innocent, like sweet sixteen, sugar and spice, and everything nice. Sarap ng buhay!

But in the week before Election Day, there will be that moment when even the kitchen sink is thrown at the candidate. Yes, these are desperate times. Candidates will be throwing land titles, bank statements, and deposit slips at each other. May the best thrower win.

There’s one rule in throwing: for the object to be firm enough so that when you throw it, it hits the face of the object of your accusation. That’s not possible with paper. But if it’s wrapped around a humongous rock, yon na!

The symbol of the “presidentiable” from Davao City is a fist. You see it glued to cars, and his fans posing with clenched fists in their photo ops. It’s a good campaign tool–easy to remember and it suggests an iron fist which the Davao City mayor may easily relate with, thanks to the way he has imposed discipline in his city.

Davao City’s pedestrian overpasses don’t have “This has been made possible by Congressman…” Instead, they have “30 kph,” to remind drivers of the speed limit.

Do the same thing here in Cagayan de Oro on behalf of a not-so-strict mayor, and Cagayanons would begin to laugh at the sign: 30 kph daw, o!

The mayor has to be consistent in his rules, he can’t go from strict to not-so-strict, where his decisions are based on “It depends.” Such as, “It depends” on who’s violating the rules.

We were hoping to have an iron fist, too, here in CDO way back in 2013. Now that here’s one more election coming up, we can hope again. Hmmm. What a wonderful world.

The debates are over, unless there’s another debate brewing somewhere. The surveys should have had their last hurrah, unless… Wait, do you still want more debates and surveys?

It’s now time to choose. CDO’s incumbent mayor said the word “discern” at “The Final Debate,” and that’s what we should be doing now till May 9: discern.

If discernment is not your key word, think of the CDO city hall in yellow, orange or violet, which color are you more comfortable with? Once you have decided, write that name on the ballot, then pray your vote will be counted, and hope you do know where you’re going to.