Let’s see

Netnet Camomot

A FRIEND has noticed I’m back to eating a lot again. Each time I’m about to devour food, she says, Hoy, itug-an nako ka sa… The three dots there are for the brand name of the protein shake I’ve been ingesting.

There are many warning signs of weight gain. The jeans don’t fit anymore, the top stretches across the chest, the top’s buttons are popping like popcorn, claustrophobia hits while trapped in tight clothes, even photos are telling a story–double chins, spare tires, wide butt.

Looking back to the thinner self–XS, S, M, L, XL, 1L–makes you ask, Why? Still, there’s the urge to eat while buying bigger-sized clothes.

Weight loss is 80 percent diet and 20 percent exercise. If the food intake is greater than calories burned, the end result is still weight gain. That’s why whenever I see friends posting on Facebook that they’ve conquered the gym, I say, Ho-hum, as I wait for their next post on cooling down at the mall with a generous serving of halo-halo. Calories lost at the gym: 150. Calories gained from halo-halo: 153.

Some “presidentiables” running in the last election already looked tired and thinner at their miting de avance. I don’t know if they followed the 80-20 weight loss strategy. Only the Davao City mayor was able to maintain his weight and also his positive aura till the end of the campaign season. Could be the result of all that PI bursting out of his mouth. Must be the same as bursting into song, eh? “The hills are alive…” That kind of singing.

With every thought out in the open and not a single negative response kept inside for protocol and diplomatic purposes, the one who blurts out PI becomes the most spontaneous person in the world, and the madlang pehpohl could only wish to do the same, yelling PI every chance they get, without a child looking up at them and saying, Bad word!

If the country’s presumptive prez, er, president-elect, er, incoming prez can say PI like the way the rest of us ordinary mortals say, Thank you, is it time for us to embrace PI, too, as the national word? Yup, if there’s a national bird, there must be a national word.

But there’s an FB post where he said that PI and the other bad words in his vocabulary were merely part of his political strategy, probably meant to toughen him up, like as if what he has done to Davao City has not been tough enough, huh? And he promised not to utter bad words anymore once he’s president. Hmmm. Promise, ha?

But that was an FB post. Since some FB posts are now as reliable as the ever reliable–hehe–Wikipedia, hmmm, let’s see. And, no, those last two words are not pronounced the same way as the Spanish word for milk.

Ilang tulog na lang and the Davao City mayor will finally be the country’s president. Change is coming. We’re waiting for that change like the way we wait for the cashier to give us the exact change. It has been years since the last time a cashier gave me candy in lieu of the exact change but I did welcome that candy once upon a time.

Each president has his own signature, you know, the way he does things, which may not be acceptable to all citizens of this country, what with all their vested interests and their craving for importance in this oh so cruel world. But if the president’s way works in the end, what can these citizens say anyway? They can’t continue ignoring the good that president has done for the country.

That’s where PNoy is now as the outgoing prez. There are critics warning of imprisonment for him, while also looking forward to freedom for former prez GMA and a heroes’ burial for the late dictator. You read news like these and you wonder, What’s going on?

But, again, these are all FB posts, which have become my source of news lately, since I have no time to read newspapers from cover to cover–I merely scan the front page, with nothing registering in my minute brain.

And relying on FB as the sole source of news is like pronouncing “let’s see” as that Spanish word for milk.

And talk of milk, here we are again with food. If you avoid anything that has milk–cakes, smoothies, milkshakes, etc.–that’s already billions of national treasury, er, calories off your diet. A diet is like the presidency–you need to focus. As to what to focus on, that will depend on the president’s priorities.

How about this as top priority: PI, anyone? And, yes, that finally means Philippine Islands.