The Prez is a Trump

Netnet Camomot

MONTHS ago, I think it was during the start of the campaign season in the US, I sent Donald Trump’s photo to a friend through Facebook Messenger, and added a note that ended up this way: Hey, you look alike!

Trump has since filled my FB newsfeed with his seemingly mindless thoughts that he translates into words without a moment’s notice, without a second thought, like they’re uncontrolled fart always managing to escape through his a**.

And, que horror, I started to see more similar characteristics between him and my friend: they don’t only look alike, they also sound alike! Hurtful remarks, inconsiderate comments, criticizing your achievements and telling that to your face not only once but twice. Made me wonder, What have I done to him to deserve this crap from him. Could make one redefine friendship, as this question echoes through the minute brain: With friends like him, who needs enemies?

But I gotta feeling Hillary Clinton is not redefining friendship. She’s a politician and should think as a politician who needs the help of all people—friends, enemies, frenemies—all the time. A politician/friend once taught me on how to treat enemies, and I always remember what she told me.

The US should not mourn, though. All it has to do is to look at Pinas—we are surviving so far, aren’t we? Our president has continued to blurt out “P.I.,” extrajudicial killings have progressed or regressed to silencing the big fish, and the late dictator will be finally buried as a bayani, thanks to a decision penned by no less than the Supreme Court!

Yet, the Pinoy survives. We go through the most horrendous traffic, rants about it on FB, and the same thing happens the next day. It’s not even a rollercoaster ride. It’s our normal ride, over-speeding along Pinas’ highways where a chicken crossing the road is not a riddle but a reality.

We had a family driver who loved to run over the chicken as it crossed the road. But that’s not the only species crossing the highway. There’s the dog, cat, herd of cattle, herd of carabaos, herd of goats—yes, herd.

But there are times when the word is not crossing but crawling. My late maternal grandfather recalled there was an anaconda—he described it as a huge snake—that crossed, er, crawled across the road inbetween the forest in Initao, Misamis Oriental. Didn’t cause traffic then. It was the age of horses and whatever modes of transportation were resorted to before cars became the Pinoy’s preferred mode.

While an anaconda crossing the road was scary to our younger minute brain then, each time he told us that story, our thought would imagine instead our beloved Lolo as this knight in shining armor on his horse while traveling across Misamis Oriental.

Nowadays, a horse could go crazy if it has to jump over the cars that are stuck in traffic for hours.

I don’t know if Trump still considers a horse as his mode of transpo in New York, but his team and voters probably see him as their knight in shining armor. This reminds me of Sally Fields’ acceptance speech for the Best Actress Oscar she won way back in the ’80s: “I haven’t had an orthodox career, and I’ve wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn’t feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!”

Trump’s team and voters must like him a lot for making this—whatever you call this—happen. Two of my high school classmates, who are now American citizens, voted for him. I had to let that sink in as they both posted their choice on our chat group, and, later, their hurrahs when Trump’s victory was almost there. Now that their candidate has won, we’ve started to compare Trump with President Rody Duterte. But our president had many years of political experience as Davao City mayor. Does that translate to expertise in leading a country? Well, he had his first 100 days—what do you think?

I couldn’t imagine a Pinoy voting for Trump whose campaign promise was to build a wall between the US and Mexico. But I guess we have to trust our high school friends’ choice for president. They’re the ones living in the US and have experienced first-hand the leadership of both the Democrats and Republicans. We, the Pinoys who chose to remain in Pinas, are simply the ones living in a room with a view. A view of a US that elected Trump as president.

But then, there were Fil-Ams who also questioned why Pinoys allowed Duterte to win. If they are the same Fil-Ams who voted for Trump, hmmm, that’s confusing, eh?

At least here’s a ray of hope for the Democrats, that is, if they consider this as such: Kanye West is running for US president in 2020. Unless he’s one of the American celebrities who threatened to migrate to Canada if Trump wins.

Another potential “presidentiable” in 2020: Michelle Obama. Yes!

And, of course, there’s always Hillary. Again. She has become the epitome of “try and try until you cry.” Er, Try and try until you concede. Er, Try and try until…

Until what? Until the crow turns white? But isn’t that a racist thingy? Black, white… Besides, not all crows are black, some have white feathers. Like the supposedly silent Democrats who morphed into Republicans and voted for Trump. Or Cagayan de Oro’s yellows who turned orange in the last election. Or me switching from non-carb to an all-carb diet complete with fried rice with everything on it. At least, it could take a week, a month, or a year for a voter to switch to another political party. A diet, on the other hand, can change in a second. One look at the menu, and it’s, Fried rice, humba, and crispy pata!