Go forth

Netnet Camomot .

A YEAR ago, Bong Go was giving shoes to his fans a.k.a. potential voters. That is, if people who receive shoes as gifts automatically become the giver’s fans. Today, Go is a senator-elect. So, the shortest distance between a special-assistant-to-the-president role and the senatorship is shoes, as long as they don’t morph to Imelda Marcos’ 3,000 pairs.

While choosing the most comfy shoes for my recovering and aging left knee, I did feel like Imelda but to the lowest level of an Imelda clone since I had not been part of a conjugal dictatorship, I don’t have a daughter who was then running for senator and has since then won, nor a son who believes he won as vice president in the 2016 elections.

Instead, I’m a member of the madlang pehpohl whose daily diet can be white rice and news on investment scams, floods, bullies, and here’s something new: news on sex videos allegedly featuring minors, taken in one of Cagayan de Oro’s mini-movie houses. When that news first came out—with emphasis on “came”?—I thought it was referring to the mall’s cinemas where we watched Marvel and DC movies, and Keanu Reeves’ John Wick and Neo. Because there was a time when walang-pakialam couples allegedly did have sex inside CDO’s cinemas way back when malls were unheard of in this City of Golden Friendship.

Now, there are mini-movie houses with rooms that one can rent for watching movies and apparently also for sex, with the latter serving as a tacit perk for adventurous couples who can’t wait to get a room. Well, they’re indeed inside a room in that mini-movie house. So, please specify what kind of room.

There are couples who have sex inside a flying plane and they’re now members of the mile-high club. Married couples who are tired of the missionary position are even advised to learn about the Kama Sutra to open their senses to the possibilities. But only a few individuals would dare talk about their sex life, and Sting is one of them. He openly discusses the merits of tantric sex which is this long and winding road to sexual intimacy and satiation that could last longer than the travel time from Makati to Cubao on rush hours, thus, the Manila-based couple may choose to indulge in that on weekends when there’s no work or appointment to attend to, unless they want to have sex while inside a car caught in traffic.

Sex is a beautiful experience between two consenting individuals, with emphasis on consent. In case you’ve been hiding under a rock since birth, people don’t even need partners to satisfy their sexual urges, and please feel free to ponder on that while I gather the rest of my thoughts.

Forget about rooms in mini-movie houses. That’s like having sex in the office, a classroom, restroom, or any semi-public place that can easily be opened with a voila! Open sesame! Abracadabra! In this age of smart phones and cell-phone cameras, better safe than sorry.

But the movie that may not be showing in a mini-movie house yet is “Rocketman,” the drama musical about Elton John. Goosebumps and crying galore—for me, anyway. I’m not an Elton fan, although I do love “Your Song,” and I and my siblings used to sing “Skyline Pigeon” with my now dearly departed younger bro playing the piano accompaniment. But after watching the movie, I think I’m now a fan, with “I’m Still Standing” as my LSS—last song syndrome.

“I’m still standing after all this time / Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind.”

“Rocketman” was showing only at SM CDO Downtown Premier’s Director’s Club cinema by the time we watched it on Monday afternoon. I guess its ticket sales were not selling like hotcakes here in CDO, unlike that of “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

The stories of Elton John and the late Freddie Mercury are somewhat the same, but “Rocketman” has gay sex scenes, unlike “Bohemian” which merely hinted on Mercury’s sex life.

But “Rocketman’s” sex scenes must be ho-hum compared to the controversial sex video that sparked an inspection of CDO’s mini-movie houses. And they actually caught two students having sex inside a Divisoria movie house they were inspecting! How about that for “caught in the act”!

When God said, “Go forth and multiply,” I’m sure he also meant, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens,” as the Bible says.

But I guess for students who can’t wait, the shortest distance between their school and sex is the mini-movie house.