Spectacular

Netnet Camomot

SHARON Cuneta hinted on Instagram that she wasn’t invited to the Star Magic Ball: “My invite probably got lost on its way to me?”

Martin Nievera then commented, “Come with me you can be ‘our’ date.”

The invite did arrive at the last minute, the way Michael Jordan inserted three-point shots in the last three seconds, but Ate Shawie said, “Thank you, Star Magic, for delivering our invitation to your Ball one day before. Wish we could go, but I have nothing spectacular to wear and there obviously isn’t any more time.”

That ball, where ABS-CBN stars would wear something spectacular, was held last Saturday. It’s showbiz’s version of the State of the Nation Address (Sona) but without the country’s president delivering a speech while video cameras are focusing on his nose with much thanks to the brilliant direction of Brillante Mendoza. And the Sona always has politicians, who may or may not be showbiz celebrities, wearing something spectacular for their walk down the red carpet a la Hollywood’s Oscars.

There’s a thin line between showbiz and politics. For one, the spectacular look needs the best public relations team that knows how to pick the most spectacular aura, the most spectacular attire, the most spectacular smile, the most spectacular pose, the most spectacular angle.

Anything short of spectacular should be banished to Caloocan where strange incidents, allegedly care of its cops, have been happening.

It’s in Marawi, though, where much stranger incidents continue to happen but Pinoys are too politically correct to banish anyone there while the siege keeps going and going like an Energizer Bunny on a perpetual sugar rush.

The Star Magic Ball’s invitees partied as the siege was ongoing last Saturday, proving that life does go on. Marawi’s displaced residents have learned to resettle elsewhere, or to temporarily stay in evacuation centers where at least one showbiz star, Angel Locsin, managing to visit them. Going to Marawi remains a risk as stray bullets may stray too far, thus, it’s understandable for people to be cautious in their relief efforts—better safe than sorry—while the military is bent on banishing the Maute group to Mars.

An invite from extremists is the kind that potential recruits wish would be lost along the way, never finding the latter’s respective addresses. If a 10-year-old child is already in a training camp where he’s brainwashed to kill people, his future won’t be as bright as that of the ten-year-old who has to swim across rivers to reach school. But that’s where the problem starts—remote areas with no access to education, producing uneducated children who eventually grow up and become parents of uneducated children. Anyone can write on all that white paper that’s now savoring salaries amounting to thousands of pesos per month.

Even the educated can be mesmerized by the promised salaries.

If only the late Hugh Hefner could solve the extremist problem with his Playboy Bunnies which may also keep going and going. If a 10-year-old boy is old enough for combat training, is he also old enough for a Playboy Bunny?

What other promises do extremists give to these young recruits, anyway? Do they still include marrying 72 virgins?

Is a Playboy Bunny a virgin? Can a virgin dare to pose nude for Playboy?

Playboy magazine did decide to stop featuring nude photos of the female kind in 2015 since the Internet has plenty already. But it revived and resumed its core value this year through its March/April 2017 edition, with Hefner’s son Hooper saying, “I’ll be the first to admit that the way in which the magazine portrayed nudity was dated, but removing it entirely was a mistake. Nudity was never the problem because nudity isn’t a problem. Today we’re taking our identity back and reclaiming who we are.”

Ho-hum.

Nude photos are no big deal anymore when sex videos are all over the Internet, starring unknowns, celebrities, and even politicians like Sen. Leila de Lima who allegedly has one with Ronnie Dayan.

Hayden Kho with his girlfriends Maricar Reyes and Katrina Halili once starred in some sex videos and these were released to the fast and curious in 2009. But love does conquer all—Vicki Belo has since forgiven him and this progressed to the most spectacular wedding in Paris a few weeks ago on Sept. 2, with a reception at no less than the Palais Garnier or the Paris Opera House.

The star in the family, though, is their daughter Scarlet Snow who now has 1.5 million Instagram followers. Did that make her worthy of an invite to the Star Magic Ball? No need to bother. All the magic already went to her parents’ wedding which was the grandest this year, making it the invite of all invites.

Ate Shawie has lost weight and would have looked spectacular in a spectacular gown at the ball. She can afford to host her own party, anyway, despite those financial-trouble rumors. As for the last-minute invite, abangan ang susunod na kabanata.