Be concerned about unity always

Fr. Roy Cimagala .

WHATEVER may be our differences and conflicts, which are unavoidable in our life and some of which may even be very serious, we should always be concerned about unity, not only trying to keep it but also trying to build it up, even at the instance precisely of our differences and conflicts.

Our differences and conflicts need not be divisive. If handled with the spirit of Christ, they can even generate the force to strengthen our unity. Our unity is not uniformity. We are not expected to agree in everything, and much less, in the same way and to the same degree. Especially in matters of opinion, taste and preferences, we are expected to have a wide range of variety, even to the point of getting in conflict.

We need to live out that ultimate desire of Christ which he expressed in his priestly prayer just before his passion and death. “My prayer is… that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you… May they be brought to complete unity…” (Jn 17,20 ff)

This would, of course, require us to have the same mind, the same attitude and ways of Christ. To gather us into one family, he finally offered his life for us. He did not simply stop at telling us what is right and wrong, what is good and evil, what is just and unjust. Even on the cross, he offered forgiveness to those who crucified him.

We have to imitate this example of Christ, his example of true charity that goes all the way to being merciful and magnanimous.

We know that he suffered the worst injustice in the whole history of mankind. While we can presume that he was most interested in having justice accorded to him, he eventually forewent it, since the greater good was the salvation of mankind.

This attitude shown by Christ should always be ours too.

Yes, we are interested in justice, but given our human condition that will always be marked by weaknesses, mistakes, failures and sin, we should be ready to forego human justice to live out the more important value in our life, our love-driven unity among ourselves as children of God.

Thus, we have to learn how to be patient, compassionate and forgiving with everyone. In fact, we need to be pro-active in this kind of attitude, not waiting for others to somehow deserve our patience, compassion and mercy. We should just reach out to them.

That is why, St. Paul one time said: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal 6,2) We have to initiate that bearing of one another’s burdens, going beyond the condition of whether one deserves to be helped or not.

This does not mean that we should not be interested in the requirements of human justice. We should be, but always in the context of charity, never in anger or in the spirit of revenge.

But we always have to remember also that our human justice, no matter how well pursued, cannot be expected to resolve all our differences and conflicts. Thus, when we find ourselves in a dead-end insofar as justice is concerned, we should just learn to suffer the consequences the way Christ suffered the consequences of the imperfections of human justice.

In some practical terms, to maintain unity some immediate things to keep in mind are not to bring out the differences in public or even through gossips, avoid creating factions, avoid sowing intrigues and casting aspersions on those with whom we may disagree over something, etc.

Differences and conflicts should be resolved in the proper fora without involving those who have no interest or are not involved in the issues. If ever things have to be discussed in public, it should be done with due decorum and courtesy. Inflammatory language and tone can only create division. In our differences and conflicts, we should strive to find areas of agreement rather than look for more areas of disagreement.

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The good vs. the best. Aside from being able to distinguish between what is clearly good and what is clearly bad, we need to learn to distinguish the different levels and nuances of what is good, since we have to choose the right good at the right moment or situation. Not everything that is good in itself is the good thing to be, have or do in a given situation.

In this regard, two aphorisms can illustrate this point where the good and the best can, in fact, clash. One is, “The good is the enemy of the best.” And the other is, “The best is the enemy of the good.” And we have to know when each is applicable.

That “the good is the enemy of the best” simply means that one is contented with settling for things that are merely good or adequate while preventing him from achieving that which is ideal.

In the gospel, this phenomenon is illustrated in that parable where Christ spoke about the kingdom of heaven being like treasure hidden in a field and about a merchant looking for fine pearls. (cfr. Mt 13,44-46)

When a man found the treasure hidden in the field, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Also, when the merchant found a pearl of great value, he went away and sold everything he had in order to buy that pearl.

This attitude of settling only with what is passable or adequate and not striving to have the ideal or the best is a manifestation of certain spiritual lukewarmness or of a spirituality that is stuck in mediocrity. The fervor of love is missing. The creativeness and inventiveness of love is absent. It’s an attitude that can expose a conscience that is lax.

Sad to say, many people fall for this kind of attitude and lifestyle. We need to find a way of rousing them from their state of lethargy and self-contentment, and of motivating them to get out of their comfort zone if they truly know that they can do more. If they have the proper spirit and is truly burning with love, they would be willing to leave behind what is already good in order to pursue what is better, if not the best.

The other aphorism, “the best is the enemy of the good,” simply means that one is obsessed with what he considers to be perfection. In other words, he is afflicted with the anomaly called perfectionism. It’s an attitude that can spring from a scrupulous conscience.

Variations of this aphorism are Confucius’ “Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.” Or Shakespeare’s “Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.” An example of this attitude is when a student is so obsessed in making an excellent research that he fails to submit his work on time.

In the gospel, this phenomenon is exemplified when Christ said that it would be better to have one eye, or one hand or one arm and enter heaven than to have both of these faculties but go to hell. (cfr. Mt 18,8-9)

It’s a call to be contented with what is already adequate or to make do or put up with something that is already bearable if the ideal condition cannot be achieved. It’s a call to be realistic and practical.

Obviously, for us to know which case is appropriate in a given situation, we need to refer ourselves to God in our conscience. It’s true that we have to aim at what is the best, but if for some reason the best condition cannot be achieved, we have to be contented with what we have or what is doable or achievable, even if it is not the ideal.

Usually when we refer things to God, some peace of mind and a sense of confidence would be felt.

E-mail: roycimagala@gmail.com