Too chubby for chappy

By Netnet Camomot

CARCAR, Cebu—You know it’s time to call it a night once the hotel resto bar’s acoustic duo is singing Christmas songs.

But the morning after, the hotel resto’s breakfast buffet also has instrumental Christmas songs as Muzak. You go out of the hotel, only to realize that malls and retail stores also have Christmas songs as Muzak. And soon, Christmas carollers will go around to knock on your door, ring on your bell, knock on your window, too. Wait, that’s the Electrolux man. Still, there’s no end to the commercialization of Christmas. Yay. And, as if on cue, a Christmas caroller did knock on my cousin’s sari-sari store right after I wrote that. Haha!

But once you’re pairing the croissant with lechon paksiw at the breakfast buffet, you won’t mind listening to Christmas carols anymore. Besides, the hotel happens to have a Christmas tree that uses recycled newspapers for its leaves, making you feel that by staying there you’re now somehow contributing to greening the environment.

Well, we’re in Cebu again for the Carcar fiesta. We promised Dad 10 years ago that we would join the fiesta annually on his behalf and we’ve fulfilled that promise ever since. Achieve na achieve, puera buyag.

We arrived at Daddy’s ancestral home on the eve of the fiesta, went straight to the kitchen for merienda, and that’s where we heard a pig’s grunt. Me: Ay, kaluoy sa baboy. My cousin: Ugma pa na. Meaning, the pig would be butchered early morning the next day, after which it would be displayed as the centerpiece on the buffet table.

Dinner would be at the house of our cousin-in-law’s sister, so we took a Chappy which could hardly contain my mile-wide butt. Next time I should consider paying for two. Hehe. The more I didn’t fit into another Chappy seat on our way back to Dad’s ancestral home after feasting on lechon, lechon, and more lechon. And then, there was Chippy for midnight snacks. From Chappy to Chippy. Hehe.

Carcar is where even the biggest lechon could have the crispiest skin and softest meat like as if it’s lechon de leche. It must be the secret ingredient, which is not exactly a secret since the lechonero told me about this plant whose name I’ve already forgotten. Who knew eating lechon could cause selective amnesia? Haha!

As expected, I woke up on the day of the fiesta to the piggy’s cries. Huhuhu. Luoy kaayo. But my empathy ended there and was not enough for me to say goodbye forevermore to lechon. Why, oh, why. I should love live piggies and not the yummy dead piggy. Tsk tsk.

A friend of my cousin sent lechon from Talisay, Cebu and its skin was still crispy when it arrived here in time for lunch. Yes, in addition to the lechons roasting in the backyard, there was lechon from Talisay. Lechon pa more.

There’s one Pinoy social media influencer and mukbang vlogger who doesn’t eat pork and I thought, Wow, good for him. Why can’t I do the same? I love piggies but why do I continue to eat pork? Juice colored.

Carcar is known for its lechon and chicharon. Recently, its mayor closed four lechon stalls and had to remind the market’s lechon vendors to behave or else, after a video about them went viral. Apparently, a vendor was forcing a potential customer to buy his lechon.

The yummiest lechon, however, is the one that’s not sold in the market but roasted in one’s own backyard, care of the suki lechonero.

I had to go on a pescatarian diet before the fiesta, to have enough room and cholesterol allowance for all the pork—lechon, humba, hamonada, embutido, chicharon, etc.—once we’re here. Oink.

But the fiesta’s highlight, as usual, is the live backyard concert featuring some of Cebu’s bands. My cousin manages some of them, thus, the jamming session which starts before lunch and lasts till midnight snacks.

I think I’ve been writing about Carcar’s annual fiesta since 2009. It’s a hard habit to break. Yum!

Carcar is a city now, it’s not a quiet place anymore, and it has traffic, too, especially on the day of the fiesta, although nothing beats the traffic in Cebu City.