The ‘all of me’ challenge

By Netnet Camomot

CHRISTMAS decors began to sprout among the merchandise of a department store even before the Aug. 28 Cagayan de Oro fiesta. So, last Monday afternoon, it was a given that Christmas songs would be the muzak in this resto where we were having an early dinner. But a few minutes later, the muzak morphed into John Legend’s “All of Me,” enough to make me listen despite the yummiest baby back ribs that I was about to devour.

“‘Cause all of me/Loves all of you/Love your curves and all your edges/All your perfect imperfections/Give your all to me/I’ll give my all to you/You’re my end and my beginning/Even when I lose I’m winning/‘Cause I give you all of me/And you give me all of you…”

I guess this song has replaced Bruno Mars’ “Marry Me” as background muzak for the guy or gal who’s now ready to propose marriage to his/her beloved, although choreographing a flashmob dance for the slow-paced “All of Me” can be quite challenging.

I first noticed the song when someone posted a video of it on Facebook, but it had the major major Venus Raj and a Kapuso heartthrob instead of Legend. That was a pleasant surprise—I didn’t know she could sing. Since this is Pinas where show biz urges everyone to be a multi-tasking jack of all trades, a singing beauty queen is nothing new really.

There are Pinoy singers who make birit and manage to break all the glass and eardrums from Pinas to the Milky Way, but there’s no heart there, just a contest on who can reach the highest octave with the neck’s pulsating veins still intact. Thus, when someone like Raj sings, we notice its simplicity.

At the resto, however, Legend’s original version ended and I was now ready for the baby back ribs. Munch, munch, munch. But even before my tummy could burp, there was Legend again, singing “All of Me.” Oh my gas. Oo lagi, all of me, all of me. Puede ba, enough already?

Apparently, the resto’s waitstaff love the song, with some of them even singing along with it. Hearing it twice in less than one hour, any John Legend non-fan would rather have her head make untog on the wall just like what happened to alleged pork barrel scammer Gigi Reyes who used that as a justification for her latest trip to a hospital. No, her untog wasn’t due to Legend, I guess she was having anxiety attacks as usual and, uh, I could relate with that.

I’m not a pork barrel scammer—I’m just a pork eater (kawawa naman my beloved piggies collection), but there was a time when I did have anxiety attacks or were those panic attacks? Is there a diff? Anyway, the worst occurred in a subway train on my way from one island to another after midnight. The cause: maybe too much brewed coffee.

The train was crossing a river then. How to jump off the train while it’s speeding inside the tunnel under the river? That’s the question.

Thus, whenever Reyes is having another anxiety attack, I wonder how it is for her and why she’s having one. Huge places like churches during Mass could send one rushing to the door just to breathe outside in the open, free from walls and people.

Well, Pinoys in Manila must also be having anxiety attacks in the long and winding lines to the train station, only to be unceremoniously bumped off once the train is involved in the accidents now hounding the Metro Rail Transit (MRT) which is begging for a transit system’s version of an MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging, just like what Reyes had for her nauntog na ulo).

If amyotrophic lateral sclerosis has the ice bucket challenge, there’s also the MRT challenge for Pinoy government officials who should experience taking the MRT during rush hours so they could relate with the daily grind that Pinoys have to endure on their way to and from work.

Transportation Sec. Joseph Abaya, Senator Grace Poe, Presidential Spokesperson Edwin Lacierda and Deputy Presidential Spokesperson Abigail Avalte were among those who took the MRT challenge although Abaya was criticized for not going there during rush hours, for bringing along the media, and for having someone escorting him with an umbrella (rain, rain, go away…). Hmmm. If these government people can dare to emote through “All of Me,” will any Pinoy ever believe they’re singing from the bottomless pit of their hearts?