Progress pa more

SO, there was a sale again and while I was squeezing my fats into a size-12 dress, I heard a guy telling his lady friend that she must be a size 4, not 6.

Life is so… unfair? Well, not exactly. I eat a lot and seldom exercise. That’s a sure recipe for weight gain. If I eat less and exercise a lot, then I’ll lose weight. Thus, life is fair that way––we reap what we sow.

Mr. Frozen is now reaping what he sowed. Wait, let’s go for innocent until proven guilty, and that requires saying “allegedly sowed” instead of the presumptuous “sowed.”
There was this line we used to blurt around during our college days at the dorm. Here it goes: How dare you insinuate such a diabolical insult in such of my capacity; in other words, I hate you. I am willing to lend that line to Mr. Frozen once he finally decides to face his accusers or at least explain why he’s being accused of plunder. But I have to ask my dorm berks first if it’s OK with them for him to copy-paste our favorite line. And, no, he can’t blame his predicament on politics.

Politics has become an easy excuse for politicians or wannabe politicians who are accused of something or anything. It could be plunder, rape, sexual harassment, their rebuttal relies on the same thing: politics. Politika lang yan. Go to Cogon, take a photo of the chaos there, post it on Facebook, and let’s see what reaction it will get from the present Cagayan de Oro city administration. Will they say, Politika lang na?
The hapsay––and I mean the hapsay that starts with the small “h” and not the capital “H”––has left Cogon. It could be the lack of budget in keeping the area hapsay. It could be the Cagayanons’ lack of discipline. It could be the lack of political will. For whatever reason, vendors are again selling their wares on the streets around Cogon market but since I passed by there last Thursday night, it’s possible that vendors are still banned from the area during the daytime. The question is, are we back to the city’s violet years? Is this chaos the appetizer to the violet mayor’s comeback in 2016? Is the city ready for such a comeback?

Here’s another line a college roommate at the dorm used to copy: Magpatuka na lang ako sa ahas! That was not an original but a copy-paste from a TV ad for, hmmm, was that the detergent bar Superwheel? With Elizabeth Ramsey saying the line? That was so way back when.

Way back when CDO’s political colors were neither violet nor yellow. When the city was clean, peaceful, and quiet. When the city didn’t have humps, er, flyovers, traffic jams were unheard of, and 24/7 drinking didn’t exist.

Now, CDO’s drunken brawls are… Let’s borrow the term that Caitlyn Jenner used in describing herself. Drunken brawls are the “new normal” in the city. Cheers! Hic.

Drinking is not exactly OK but what can we do if Cagayanons love to destroy their livers, eh? If only there’s a curfew, say, a la Cinderella who had to stop dancing with her Prince Charming by 12 midnight. For the CDO drinker, it should be stop drinking with Prince Charming’s friends by 12 midnight.

But politicians can always say these are signs of progress. Well, more like regress. But progress sounds better. Hmmm. Progress pa more?

Condominium buildings have begun to sprout right there in the middle of the city proper. Let’s calculate––at least three along Corrales, and two somewhere near or within Limketkai Center. There could be other condo plans that I’ve not heard of. I don’t know what they will contribute to the traffic but your guess sounds familiar.

Once the SM mall opens downtown, it will be easier for us to hop from Gaisano to Centrio to SM to Limketkai Center in one afternoon but driving will require much patience in that traffic. I wrote about this before, that they should consider connecting their malls through elevated and roofed walkways like what Makati has done. Limketkai Center has already been doing that for their buildings.

Uniqlo and Forever 21 will surely open branches at the downtown SM. Surely? Well, we’re practicing the Law of Attraction here. There are only a few stores in Pinas where this size 12 could find clothes that fit.

Today is CDO’s Charter Day. Cagayanons who were there in 1950 when it became a city won’t be able to recognize it now.

Meanwhile, the present batch of Cagayanons should prepare for the déjà vu in next year’s election. It’s going to be yellow versus violet again, with a doze of orange.

There was this dress that was also on sale. At first, I thought it was red. There I was, lining up outside the fitting room, hoping I could squeeze into this red dress. A friend happened to be there, too, so I asked her if she thinks the dress’ color is as orange as, hmmm, feel free to insert here the name of a CDO congressman whose favorite color is orange. She said, Yeah, it’s orange. Uh. I decided not to try it on anymore.