The lizard is now a baby

IT was 2 am yesterday and the lizard in the bedroom was singing. I tried to google for the reason why it sings, and the first trivia I found interesting was this reply for what to call a lizard that sings. It’s a rap-tile. Ah, hehe.

I don’t like lizards but had a baby crocodile and two huge snakes––in three separate occasions, of course––cradled in my arms or hands while posing for photo ops. I don’t like seeing an assembly of holes and polka dots but my cellphone case has these little holes at the back that still give me the creeps––blame this recently acquired phobia on a photo that a friend posted on Facebook, a skin disease with all those holes. O my gas. Some people are so insensitive. And then, there’s my sis who would insist on showing me photos and videos that are yikes. Whew! I’d rather watch paint dry.

But do these photo ops and cellphone case mean I’ve gotten rid of those phobias? Hmmm. The phobia we should be aware of is this fear of having the most corrupt president ever for Pinas. Yes, the country has had at least… let’s calculate… four of them in the past. But what if there’s someone much worse than any of them? Pinas can’t afford to have one more of their kind.

When this one particular politician was recently included as among those charged for the Janet Napoles group of pork barrel scammers, the first thought that came to my mind was, Finally! It’s about time! His name had never been involved in graft and corruption cases in the past, not because he’s honest but because he’s simply an expert in hiding his grafting and corrupting. Politicians are known, er, allegedly known to meet with top executives of government agencies to pressure the latter to produce money for, say, the elections. And this one recently charged politician is one of those. Yes, like a committee meeting, but for the purposes of grafting and corrupting pa more. After that meeting, they would go their separate ways like as if nothing happened and charge each other for being corrupt, complete with TV interviews and soundbites. Meanwhile, we, the madlang pehpohl, are the clueless audience watching all that drama unfold, unaware that of course they know who’s corrupt–they were all in that meeting! Duh!

Then, even before you can say, Corrupt na less, they’ll allegedly have another meeting with the government agencies’ top executives to demand for more money. Pressure pa more. The top executives allegedly have their share, too, to keep them quiet. But then, this could be common knowledge among Pinoys now, including the madlang pehpohl, some of whom have learned to vote for the lesser evil.

You have your own club committee meetings, right? For a project, for an activity. If only we could join at least one meeting of these politicians and government agencies, then we will never look at meetings the same way again.

There’s this perk that Pearl’s Peril gives. It’s a monkey. I didn’t get the significance of the first one––why a monkey? And then I saw the second one, and that’s when my minute brain finally had an aha moment. It’s the three wise monkeys: see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. This is a good reminder for people who love to spread chismis but bad for those who ignore the grafting and corrupting that politicians indulge in. There’s no justification at all once someone dips his hands into the national treasury. With the Bureau of Internal Revenue now so aggressive in collecting taxes and making new laws in order to have more taxes, it’s about time that the government should be serious in ensuring that these taxes are going into projects for the madlang pehpohl and not merely into the pockets of the corrupt. The more money collected by the government, the more money that can be corrupted by that same government. Para que collecting all that money through taxes if it ends up in the wrong hands?
If only the BIR and City Hall could stop collecting taxes while government goes through a major overhaul to clean up its ranks. But of course the politicians can’t wait. Can’t wait to start serving the madlang pehpohl, that is. And service needs money. Has a lizard ever fallen on you? Creepy, right? But one night, there was this baby lizard on my bed. No, it’s not what you think. And even what you’re thinking is bad because, o my gas, that’s so tiny. Haha!

Anyway, back to the lizard. Instead of me jumping off the bed, I simply sat there and waited for the baby, er, lizard to crawl to wherever it was going. I even talked with him, or was that a her? Lizard, please crawl na, over there o. Not here! There!
Meanwhile, a congressman remains to be known as a crocodile. Nope, definitely not a baby lizard. But so kawawa naman the croc.