Eulogy for Mama Tammi

Cong Corrales

(This eulogy was read during the requiem mass of Thomasita Lacanaria Bajao-Corrales in Sacred Heart of Jesusu Parish Church, Bugo, Cagayan de Oro, Dec. 21)

FIRST of all, allow me to introduced our family. I’m Leonardo Vicente or Cocong, the fourth son of mama Tammi, my wife Ailyn and my children Lalo, Leia, Lyza, and Lenin. My siblings are: The eldest; Enrique Luis or Nong Erik, his wife Marilyn, and children Pipo and Patis; the second son; Manuel Alberto or Nong Buchok, his wife Nang Tetel, and children Botong—who, unfortunately could not attend mama’s burial today (Dec. 21)—Kayang; and the third son; Ildefonso Rafael or Nong Soysoy and his children Euri and Malin; and the youngest Sylvia Marie or Chinky and her children Raprap and Carlo, and mama Tammi’s great grand children Nicolo and Eli.

We have gather here today to celebrate the life of mama Tammi in her death. To celebrate the joy that she has shared with each of us here and to accept her departure in this life, no matter how painful it is for us.

Mama Tammi died on a Monday afternoon, Dec. 14. She was 73 years old. She died 15 days short of her birthday.

Here in Bugo where she spent her last days, she is known to you as the church-going woman. You knew her as tita, nanay, amiga, kumare, bestfriend and many other endearments. To us, brothers and sister, she is mama Tammi. To us, she was the “choyest” mama ever.

“So, hush littler darling, don’t you cry.”

How many mothers would sing a classic blues song “Summertime” to lull their babies to sleep? She gave us the gift of music. We learned to play the basics on guitar, piano, and singing from her.

“…with daddy and mommy standing by.”

Mama Tammi also gave us the gift of her time. No matter how busy she was being a head nurse until she became the chief nurse of NMRTH then which is NMMC now. She never once was absent in any of the PTA meetings of Nong Erik up to Chinky. Where she found the time from her dizzying schedule, we still do not know until now.

Our family and her role as a doting grandmother was the most important tasks for her. I now understand she drew strength from us, her children and her grand children, and then later in her life as great grandmother. We are also the legacy she left behind.

We have disappointed her so many times before but she never gave up on us. She never once judged nor questioned our life choices but instead supported our dreams into reality even if it meant spending less time with her.

When I was young, I discovered a book that I would steal from her from time to time. I didn’t read the book but was curiously ogling the naked pictures of men and women in the book. It is not a pornographic or a medical book, mind you. It was a hardbound book of Khalil Gibran, The Prophet. It is her favorite book since it was always on her bedside table.

It was not until high school when I started reading the book and I will cite some passages of the book to, in a way, make sense of the sorrow that we all feel today with her departure.

“Some of you say, ‘Joy is greater than sorrow,’ and others say, ‘Nay, sorrow is the greater.’ But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.”

I learned the need to be independent from mama Tammi even though it took me a considerably long time to get out of our common house. The first years of my married life was spent with mama Tammi in our house in Gusa. Upon her advise, I found the strength to break away from that suburban bubble and lived separately with my family from mama Tammi.

I’d like to cite another passage from The Prophet to give an inkling on how she taught me independence:

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

I could have spent more time with her but that is all water under the bridge. But when I see her lying in the coffin with her signature half-smile, I know she is at peace with the thought that we have patch things up with my brothers and sister. My siblings and I, unfortunately had a misunderstanding that made us not talk to each other for many years. We have cleared everything and forgave each other thanks to mama Tammi’s patience and perseverance. When she was much stronger physically, we would always make it a point to have a lunch date for all of the siblings.

How we siblings revived our sense of family is a testament of how mama Tammi is as a loving and caring mother. It is also because of this revived sense of family that mama Tammi will continue to live in our hearts. Every get-together we siblings will have from now on will have a greater meaning because she always believed in us.

I believe my mama has touched the lives of some of the people here today and like us, she will always be in your hearts. And I thank you for giving meaning and joy to her life while she was with you working for the Lord and community.

“Ma, salamat sa imong pagpangga ug gugma. Karon, adlaw sa kasumaran sa inyong kasal ni papa Emil, mag uban na pud mo balik sa laing kalibutan.”

To everyone who offered their sympathies and condoled with us since Monday until today when she will be interred in the cemetary, on behalf of my brothers and sister, I say thank you very much. These has helped us cope with loss.