Christmas least

Netnet Camomot

IF there’s one thing we may look forward to when the Christmas party is over, it is this: the “bring house.” Because that’s when the lechon morphs into paksiw and pritchon.

But who wants lechon leftovers after feasting on lechon? Hmmm.

On Friday afternoon, my sis and I had an early dinner of steamed fish and Bicol Express. It’s called Express because of what Coldplay may describe as “A Rush of Blood to the Head” once all that chili is rushing through your veins. But whenever we order this dish, we always tell the waiter to hold the chili. Which of course takes the needed spark out of its Express part.

The lesson is to never tweak the original recipe if it has been proven to be delish as is. Still, I can’t savor a dish if it’s too, uh, hot.

The steamed fish was the result of my sister’s suspicion that too much red meat was helping us gain weight fast. And the purpose of that early dinner was to provide us with needed energy for the Christmas shopping right after.

Christmas shopping daw o. Hehe. As if we had a generous budget to play with. But the thrill there is what to buy with the budget we’re playing with. I finally have a written Christmas list, and checked it twice after finding out who’s naughty or nice. 2016 has been a Realization 101 and that list is the result of that.

Define naughty. Define nice. Well, it depends on vibes.

The next item in the agenda after buying gifts for that Christmas list is to prepare another list—the New Year’s resolutions.

There’s my renewed resolve to lose weight. Again. Feasting on lechon for each of the four parties within a week means fats begging to rent space in between muscles and bones or wherever fats prefer to hibernate. Rent, meaning there’s a tacit lease contract that can be revoked anytime.

The wellness coach’s meal plan suggests aloe, tea, protein shakes, fish, and veggies. Simple, eh? But there are times when we love to complicate the simple.

Beginning January 2017, we should simplify further the simple. No more listening to chika. And whenever we hear chika, maintain a poker face. Who knows, all that practice may result to winning a poker game. Ka-ching!

Aside from maintaining a poker face, maintaining the ideal body weight also simplifies a lot of things—no need to buy bigger clothes, lessens the pressure on the recovering knee, and easier for the blush to find cheekbones. Wait, it’s supposed to be bronze and highlighter but since I tend to simplify the makeup process, there’s only the blush. And for now, applying it has become a challenge when the cheekbones still refuse to surface as I suck in my fatty cheeks and purse my lips.

For now, let’s celebrate Christmas by savoring each lechon and ham. We may not have enough time to find the perfect gift for a friend, but if ever we do find that gift, it’s always a eureka moment.

Buying gifts is still one of life’s greatest pleasures. On Friday afternoon, I found myself gravitating towards items that could contain liquids—mugs, bottles, tumblers, drinking glasses. And bottle openers. Plus wallets for good luck. And huge hand fans for the summer which will be humid and dry amidst the usual blackouts.

I haven’t visited the bookstore yet for friends who I guess will appreciate books. But books are tricky—if a friend already has a copy of the book you’re giving, it will be a complete waste of time and resources, because what will he do with the extra copy? So, should you give him a pen or a journal instead if he loves to write?

For women, cologne and perfume are always appreciated. We use that for our bodies and rooms. Yes, rooms. We prefer that than the fake scent of a freshener.

We also love chocolates and our other favorite foods. For me, you’ll never go wrong with Royce Nama Chocolate, Planters Dry Roasted Peanuts and Honey Roasted Peanuts, Fablues’ potato salad, and Dave Beanery’s al prosciutto pizza. Yum!

And if you wanna add other food items to that, here’s a list: Mandarin Tea Garden’s chop suey fried rice, Annabel’s beef salpicado, Roadhouse Café’s kinilaw and grilled pork belly, Panagatan’s kinilaw and deep-fried hito, Ah Fong’s humba and steamed lapu-lapu, Grand Caprice’s fried bread and pancit guisado, and Sweet Craft Café’s durian coffee. Yum!

Now you know why it’s difficult for me to lose weight.

Christmas is the time to indulge, so forget about diets for a while, but be ready to go back to them next month.

Christmas is also the time to work, and that’s true most especially for managers and accounting departments that have to finish financial reports. They’re the ones who deserve to party a la the movie “Office Christmas Party.” Tequila, vodka, and gin pa more!

To those who prefer a sober Christmas, there’s… Uh, you can’t even have eggnog. Hmmm. Diet soda, anyone?

And water. Good old safe water. Ho-hum.