Whaaaaat?!

Netnet Camomot

THEY say that death is the great equalizer. We are reminded of this as we visit our dear departed on Nov. 1 and 2 each year.

Money and power do still matter to the living at the memorial park where mausoleums can be as huge as a house—the mausoleum of alleged pork barrel mastermind Janet Lim-Napoles’ mother at Heritage Park in Taguig City comes to mind. But when one is dead, he’s not part of the decision-making process on where he should be buried. He won’t mind the humidity. He won’t care about the lack of flowers, green grass, and candles on his grave. It’s we, the living, who notice all these. Unless of course the departed wrote specific instructions on his wake and burial preferences which are supposed to be followed otherwise he would haunt the living forevermore. Death is the surest thing that can happen to anyone. But it’s also the saddest topic to discuss.

Terminal illness does prepare the living for the worst. Still, the one with an incurable affliction will go through the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance—before reality can sink in.

Our generation is now the head of each family in the clan. Gone are the days when we would refer to our parents for major decisions. We are now the ones tasked for that, and the responsibility is kind of surprising, i.e., Whaaaaat?! It’s up to us now?

With that much responsibility, we have to be careful with our health, diet, and in screening the stress we allow into our daily life. Stress, worry, and extra workload are never worth it. There are only 24 hours a day, and most of that we’d rather spend sleeping, relaxing, and indulging in happy thoughts. Our energy is better spent on playing Candy Crush Soda Saga, Homescapes, and Gardenscapes. Haha.

But on Nov. 1, there we were, feasting on pork halang-halang. This after a nephew said he had already asked his resto chef to prepare steamed lapu-lapu and spinach soup for us. It was his mom—my first cousin—who brought the halang-halang. They also had biko and puto. These prompted my sis to ask, Net, nganong wala man tay dala nga food?

The original plan was potluck, as suggested by another first cousin. But then, I asked in our chat group if the nephew’s resto would be open the next day, which was Nov. 1. He said yes. So, I thought, no more need for potluck. Hehe.

This was for the annual visit to our hometown and the neighboring towns where our generation’s great grandparents, grandparents and their siblings and their siblings’ children had been laid to rest. We are a huge clan, with some branches more prolific than others, and these annual visits are supposed to remind the younger generations to continue the tradition. But even we, the older ones, are sometimes too preoccupied to travel for these visits.

With wakes even on live streaming nowadays, I guess the younger ones will learn to adopt new ways of honoring their departed ancestors in the future.

This year’s All Souls’ Day has been particularly deep after all the extrajudicial killings and those that perished in the Marawi siege. And there’s hazing victim Atio Castillo, the University of Santo Tomas Law student who didn’t survive the initiation rites of Aegis Juris Fraternity.

Castillo’s case also features the name of Nilo Divina, the dean of UST’s College of Law. His law firm is the legal counsel of Smartmatic, Comelec’s supplier for vote counting machines. Patricia Bautista accused the law firm of giving commissions to her estranged husband, former Comelec Chair Andres Bautista. Hmmm. For the Divina name to be involved in two high-profile cases in less than a year makes it an easy candidate for conspiracy theories.

Conspiracy theories, EJKs, siege, hazing—would these still inspire Cagayan de Oro City Mayor Oscar Moreno to sing, “What a wonderful world”?

Well, there’s one memorial park in Cagayan de Oro that must have chosen to keep moving forward by celebrating Halloween with a mask-making contest, costume contest and parade, photo booth, raffle, and the usual trick or treat. When my cousin posted a copy of the flyer in our chat group, my thought bubble was, Whaaaaat?! Must be some kind of, “If you can’t beat them, join them.”