The Bertiz method

Rhona Canoy .

SO… I’m getting somewhat tired of talking about this matter over and over and over again. But it seems that over and over just isn’t enough. It was quite amusing to me how Filipinos reacted to the egregious behavior of so-called Congressman Aniceto John Bertiz III at the airport where he threw a toddler-like tantrum because he was made to go through a standard security check. We pretty much lost our collective mind. The boy was cursed, called all sorts of names, urged to resign (an issue that seems to be in a gray area), shamed on social media–in short, bullied for being a bully.

His behavior was actually nothing new. The overbearing arrogance is something we all see on a daily basis, especially from those who work in government offices and/or people in organizational authority. Upon reflection, it is worse from those who serve as elected officials. We so willingly let ourselves be treated poorly when we present ourselves in a government office. As a matter of fact, a good friend was just complaining about the rudeness with which she was met when she went to the DFA office at Centrio just a week or so ago.

In fairness, however, people in positions of authority or bossness also have this behavioral quirk. It is taught early and therefore it shouldn’t be surprising that people act this way.  Children are exposed to this at home. That’s where the training starts. Grandparents, parents and pseudo-parents treat children in the same oppressive way. Maybe not all the time, but during the times that matter. Conflicts are resolved not by finding the proper balance but by imposing authority over the matter. Repetitive phrases dot our childhood memories–”What did I tell you?”, “How many times have I told you?”, “When will you learn?”, and my all-time favorite, “Because I said so.”

We are a society that doesn’t believe in teaching or instilling self-esteem. If you don’t agree with me, then simply look around at the generation of youth we call the millennials. A whole army of them. Kids who feel entitled because we taught them to be that, and yet lacking any form of self-esteem, seeking approval and attention from the outside. These people will grow up into adults like Bertiz. So why are we surprised? Our young people grow up oppressed–by their parents, by their classroom teachers, by anyone in authority. And yet we don’t consider what they learn from how we treat them.

When a student realizes that authority and power determine the level of shenanigans one can get away with, they themselves will become bullies when they become persons of authority. Yes, I used the B word. Bullies. We are a country of bullies. Has anyone watched Dick Gordon preside over a Senate hearing? Bully. Does anyone actually take the time to understand the nature of social media activity? Bully. Do children have a front row seat to marital disagreements at home? Bully.  Are people aware of how cruelly Mocha Uson has been treated? Bully. I may not think she was doing a good job but how badly she was bullied on social media was shameful.

We get upset when things don’t go our way. And we will make our displeasure known in a gargantuan effort to force things the way we want them. And yet when it happens in the school yard, parents will in an instant head to the principal’s office and declare that their child is being bullied. Or worse, bully the offending party (who is usually below 12 years old) to show their adult displeasure. This generally protective attitude has propagated a strange cultural phenomenon. We are raising children who do not know how to fight for themselves because we are too quick to come to their defense. And children are learning to tell the stories that will make their parents do their bullying for them. Disagreements are part of life. Doesn’t anyone realize that we Filipinos have no clue as to how to handle disagreements? But I digress.

Going back to the Bertiz incident. His tantrum was very clearly triggered by the fact that he was not accorded special treatment. But the underlying issue for me seems to be that he was not allowed to be above the law. Haven’t you noticed this? When forced to face up to our accountability to be obedient to laws and policies, we become behavioral monsters. And there are tons of Facebook videos to back this up. Remember Ms. Five Minutes? Remember Atty. Amalayer? Remember our loudmouthed local no-parking parking Kagawadly? People who all got offended because they were being made to follow the rules. I sometimes wonder why we bother to have any rules at all. We are a nation of bullies. We treat our domestic help poorly. We treat the waiters poorly. We treat the poorly-dressed customer poorly. Actually, we pretty much treat everyone poorly. How often have I heard someone (whom I know, sadly) utter these words–“I pay you to…”?

For a society that constantly harps on defending and claiming our democratic status, we are doing a bang-up job of showing just how unready we are for it. The unruliness that would ensue if we were all given the chance to be free to do what we want to do would be stupendous. But wait… wait… wait. Isn’t it already? We often forge just how democratic we are. And continue to be. All the different opposing sides in disagreement being allowed to disagree. All the horrible things that Filipinos say and do which are making me want more and more to terminate my socmed existence. The level of shameful behavior we are allowed to get away with as a country certainly affirms our democracy. Let’s not forget that.

If Bertiz behaved the way he did in an autocratic environment, he would surely be carted away in handcuffs, stood before a firing squad and shot (my personal fantasy of how I would instill discipline if I were gifted with a dictatorship). Which is where I’m going to digress. We so hate the thought of a dictatorship, in fact we are uber vocal about it–hashtag never forget, hashtag the Turd Reich, hashtag hashtag hashtag. But think about all the fantasies we all entertain if we were given the opportunity to BE the dicktator. I know I would be among the most creative in masking the authoritarianism with some sort of pseudo free choice.

Case in point, my fantasy IQ test. In my perfect world, Bertiz would be made to take an IQ test and undergo psychological evaluation in order to rate his behavior. When he scores poorly in both, as he is sure to do, he would be given a really bad haircut and made to go on a miserable diet for the rest of his life. No lechon, no alcohol. Just okra, ampalaya, corn grits (to ensure serious constipation) and a whole wall of books which he would be required to read day after day after day. The same punishment for people who fail the tests. Anybody who has to watch Bertiz go through this ecstasy would surely be too scared to behave in the same manner as he showed in public. And leave me alone. It’s MY Dora fantasy–DicktaDora.

We have so much to contemplate upon. Contemplation. Something we rarely do. Maybe that’s the ticket. Maybe that’s the first and continuing lesson we should be taught in school. Because we surely have already mastered the Bertiz method.