The art of gradualness

Fr. Roy Cimagala .

WE need to have a good understanding on this art of gradualness. With our times getting more complicated and the discussions and exchanges on several concerns getting more controversial and conflictive, we should truly learn the art of gradualness.

We should try our best to avoid getting too hardened in our views and opinions, too quick in making judgments and in finding fault in the views of others, and too strident in voicing our points. These would only lead us nowhere but to undesirable destructive effects and worse consequences.

Nowadays, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, we can easily follow discussions of several political, social, religious issues, etc. not only locally but also internationally. It’s indeed a great blessing to enjoy this development.

But it cannot be denied either that in this sphere the tone of the discussion is generally marked by dissonance and divisiveness. The air created is getting increasingly toxic and unbearable. We need to do something about it.

Why don’t we learn to slow down a bit, tone down our voices, listen more to others, and do some more study, reflection and amicable consultations before we proceed with our ideas?

The main problem, I think, is that many of us prefer to dominate others, to score points, to sound right and superior to others. We hardly give any regard to the need for understanding and compassion, asserting our views with restraint and utmost courtesy to everyone.

Let’s remember that where any trace of pride, arrogance, vanity, coercion is found in our statements, we can only elicit the same reactions from others. And from there, the slippery slope to vulgarity opens up.

Let’s learn the art of gradualness so we can better blend the requirements of truth and charity, justice and mercy, orthodoxy and tolerance. It enables us to better deal with the realities of life where good and evil co-exist, where what is right and what is wrong will always be around.

It helps us to treat each other as persons, as friends, brethren, children of God even if we have different and even opposing positions. It would make us to be more accepting of everyone irrespective of who and how they are.

Of course, this art of gradualness does not mean that there is no right and wrong in our views, no fair and unfair treatment, or that what is true is false, what is authentic is fake, or that there are no absolute and relative things in life.

But it will surely involve discipline, effort, self-denial, patience, sacrifice, magnanimity. We have to be ready to face being misunderstood and even mistreated. We have to be ready to follow the example of Christ who in the words of St. Peter: “Did not retaliate when they heaped abuse on him, made no threats when he was made to suffer, but entrusted himself to his Father who judges justly.” (1 Pt 2,23)

When we have to express our views, let us do it, of course, with clarity and some forcefulness but always in charity, in an amenable, meek and humble tone. We have to have a good grip on our emotions and passions. Anger should be avoided.

When things seem to lead to a flashpoint, it would be better to back off for a while. This may be humanly considered as a sign of weakness or capitulation even. But for sure in the eyes of God, who is the ultimate judge, it can only mean that we are following his will and way rather than those of ours and of the world.

This art of gradualness will certainly identify us more with Christ rather than to keep us to our own animal selves. That’s what happens when we detach ourselves from Christ. There may be some rationality involved, but in the end we become more an animal than a child of God.

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Only with God… We should never forget that only with God can we properly deal with our own weaknesses, and the many temptations and sins around. Only with him can we manage to resist the devil himself.

Without him, we are easy prey, a sitting duck. Our earnest desire should be how we can be with God always, our union with him as strong and vibrant as ever.

Let’s not forget that if our first parents, still in their state of original justice and therefore in theory should have been in close union with God, managed to sin, how much more us who are already born with original sin and whose lives here on earth will always be hounded by all forms of evil!

In the case of our first parents, we know that in spite of their very good condition, there was a moment when they failed in the proper exercise of their God-given freedom and chose to listen to the devil rather than to remain faithful to God. And so they fell.

We have to understand that without God, the proper exercise of our freedom would be out on a limb, and it would just be a matter of time before we fall into sin. It is that automatic. We would have no sufficient defenses against our real enemies. We may even think that our enemies are our friends and allies.

We should never forget that our freedom is a very intoxicating endowment God has given us. It should only be exercised with God as its beginning and end. Otherwise, we will only misuse and abuse it and lead us to sin. We should constantly make the effort to choose God instead of what we simply like by ourselves.

We need to see to it that our union with God should, as much as possible, be abiding, completely sealed with no opening, no matter how minuscule, that can allow our weaknesses, the sinful allurements of the world and the devil himself to enter. We have to remember that as St. Paul warned us, we are actually ranged against powerful enemies in this life. (cfr. Eph 6,12)

Only with God can we be keenly aware of the many dangers that lurk within us and around us. Only with him can we resist the temptations and be unaffected by our weaknesses and the sins around.

In other words, we really need how to pray always. This means we have to know how to convert everything into prayer, always relating everything to God—our joys and sorrow, our work and rest, our successes and defeats, etc. Yes, everything can and should be a material and occasion to pray.

We should be in constant awareness of God’s presence in us and around us. And our relation with him should be driven by love, by desire to be with him and to do his will. We have to feel the need for him. In fact, he should be our greatest need, without whom we should feel completely empty. Nothing should replace or substitute for him in our mind and heart. We need him more than we need air.

What can show that we are truly with God is that in spite of the drama of life, we will always feel driven to praise him, to do a lot of good, to practice the virtues, to serve others. We would know how to be patient, to be forgiving. There is some kind of excitement and at the same time a deep sense of peace and confidence and joy that the world cannot give.

We would know how to sanctify our work and all the other circumstances of our life, whether they are good or bad as regarded in human and worldly terms. We would know how to flow with the times without getting confused and lost.

E-mail: roycimagala@gmail.com