Kunwari

Netnet Camomot .

CONDOMINIUM units and tiny houses are the practical choices for lower construction costs, maintenance expenses and utility bills. And, of course, there’s less area to clean, giving the househelp more time to post selfies on social media. Thus, less becomes more.

Still, I’ve continued buying piggies, with a piggy hand pillow as the newest member of my collection.

Minimalism is the key to a simple life but how to be minimal with all these piggies that are already occupying the upper shelves of two cabinets. Finding precious space for them and the books is a challenge to an interior decorator who happens to be a loyal disciple of the KonMari method of spring cleaning, with that most important question for each item: Does it spark joy?

Philippine politics, on the other hand, should adopt the kunwari method for each politician, candidate and wannabe that has failed to reach its, hmmm, high standards by asking, Does he spark joy?

Naa diay standards ang Philippine politics? Ay, napakasakit naman that question. But the madlang pehpohl would prefer a yes answer to that.

Of course, Philippine politics has high standards—in campaign funds, that is, with the P1.18-billion Ultra Lotto jackpot as the gauge for the lowest budget? Yay! Happy days are here again! Like as if those days ended after the 2016 elections. But they did end for the yellow party that’s now trying to gain back power through its senatoriables, with former presidentiable Mar Roxas kind of leading that team.

Based on his social media posts, Roxas was hibernating after the 2016 elections, living the good life in his vacations.

I tend to give this unsolicited advice to politicians who have seemingly retired—to please avoid returning to politics, and to choose a life where they’re truly happy. But if they miss the chaos, then they should follow their heart and join the fun run again.

If Roxas won’t win next year, that’s a sign for him to resume his hibernation. But Roxas losing in the senatorial race? Juice colored. That’s as impossible as Mocha Uson not posting fake news.

A “senatoriable” whose prospects of victory is nil will only be haunted by this: He can dream, can’t he?

It’s the impasiboooool… dream. With a lilt for the last three letters: ool. Which, if added with an f, could be, fool.

“Foolish heart, hear me calling

Stop before you start falling.”

“I’ve got this foolish pride

And pride goes before a fall.”

“What kind of fool am I?”

Tsk tsk.

All those campaign funds wasted on guns, goons and gold, er, on trolls, tarpaulins and advertisements.

Buti pa si “senatoriable” Bong Go, he always has a Malasakit Center to open. If ever he will lose next year, can that be blamed on Facebook (FB) which shut down some pro-Duterte pages?

Yes, FB has finally had it with Duterte Media, Duterte sa Pagbabago Bukas, DDS, Duterte Phenomenon and DU30 Trending News.

Some wise users have deleted the FB app from their phones and tablets, preferring to check it out only through laptops and desktops. This may not give them a 24/7 access to their newsfeed where they can watch a live video of a polar bear that has found a bed of kelp.

The wise candidate has people who post his good news on social media, so he can focus on speeches, community visits, inaugurations, etc., short of being accused of premature campaigning.

And there must be a subtle way to prematurely campaign. A careful—not careless—whisper here, an appropriate praise there, and a warm smile everywhere. Make them appear like they’re from the heart. Even if they’re not.

Next year’s election results will pave the way—or not—for President Rody Duterte and/or his team to remain in power beyond 2022.

For now, though, Davao City Mayor Sara Duterte-Carpio is seeking re-election instead of morphing into a senatoriable. Her two bros, Paolo and Baste, have also chosen to focus on their hometown by running for congressman and vice mayor respectively.

Baste could be the coolest vice mayor although all along I thought he wanted to become a showbiz star.

Baste was the boyfriend of Ellen Adarna right before she began dating John Lloyd Cruz. She seems to be the inspiration behind Lloydie’s newly found simple life as he rides jeepneys, eats balut, buys turon and durian. They now have a baby whose photo has yet to surface on social media unless it did and I missed it.

Next year’s losing candidate should consider joining showbiz. After all, he will have a lot of practice acting as a kind, sincere, generous, honest and loving Pinoy in his campaign sorties.

The voter does wonder how some candidates can still sleep at night with their noses now longer than Pinocchio’s.

But the voter may not have that much free time to wonder as he ponders instead on the pros and cons of buying or building a house in these volatile times.