Pleasing personality

Cong Corrales .

“We just say something as if it really makes sense. Like ‘legally drunk,’ leave the guy alone officer, he’s legally drunk.” – George Carlin, Jamming in New York

LET us discuss the recent ordinance our city council unanimously voted on which has sent lawyers reeling in laughter for its vagueness and subjectivity.

Yes, I’m referring to City Ordinance 2018-18 authored by Councilor Edna Dahino.

For those who have been hiding under a rock, it is an ordinance that authorizes social workers and police to accost adults who are with a minor or minors if these adults exude a “reasonable genuine suspicion” that they are trafficking the children they’re accompanying.

Dahino’s “reasonable genuine suspicion” reminds me of other phrases we have been using but haven’t exactly realized that these sound ludicrous, vague, and does not really define anything.

Worse, we haven’t really examined these phrases at all. We just use them to mean something when it does not.

When you define an act, you determine the essential quality, determine the nature of, or show the form or outline of the act.

It’s like when the police recently announced that this Holy Week they will be on “triple alert.” To me, it sounded ludicrous. Alert is a condition of heightened watchfulness and prepared for any eventuality. There are no levels of alertness. If you are not alert, you are lethargic. You cannot be twice as an alert — why will the officers give their personnel five cups of coffee every hour or a dose of amphetamine for them to be “triple alert?”

Then there’s the cliché “with pleasing personality.” You see it every time there is a job opening at any mall, store, private offices. It is usually one of the requirements when you apply for a job. The sexist part of it is that it seems to be applicable only to the female applicants. It makes you think, to whom should they exude this “pleasing personality,” the employers?

If this ridiculous job requirement is to be believed, then how come I barely see any salesgirl with a “pleasing personality.” We shop at Gaisano Mall, and my ex-girlfriend and I only see scowling sales representatives all the time — if they are not scowling, they are sporting that nonchalant-slightly bored-slightly annoyed look.

Going back to Dahino’s ordinance, like, did you know that this ordinance was shelved at least twice? When this ordinance came to my attention, I did not know why the councilors voted to defer it back to the drawing board twice. At least, now we know why.

A little birdie told me that Dahino was on a verge of throwing a fit if her pet ordinance would be deferred for the third time. Well, methinks that should not be the primary reason to approve an ordinance.

Even the Cagayan de Oro City Police Office is in a conundrum on how to implement it, exactly. For the sake of argument, what would they do to the person they hold for exuding a “reasonable genuine suspicion” of being a child trafficker? Will they institute “enhanced interrogation techniques,” which is legalese for torture?

I have observed that people use extra words in phrases to sound important when it is not.

It is not bad to be passionate about fighting criminality, especially this despicable crime of trafficking children. However, when you are crafting laws, you should be precise, logical or at least sensible.

I remember during my Task Force Macajalar days, lawyer Manuel Ravanera gave us, paralegals, a crash course on laws. He said in crafting a law, it should be objective, so it will not be open to a deluge of interpretations, and it should be logical and sensible, like, you do not need to craft a law governing gravity because with or without that written law, gravity will still exist.

Why am I so up in arms about this ordinance, you ask?

Well, I’m bald and I sport a full beard. I hit the genetic jackpot of being a “suspicious-looking character.” I worry of stereotyping.

I hope this vague ordinance gets vetoed or at the least sent back to the drawing board again.

Don’t worry, councilor, third or fourth time is a charm.