The haze

Rhona Canoy .

SO… The unnecessary and senseless death of Darwin Dormitorio has evoked a truly passionate response from all and sundry. The young PMA cadet who was killed as a result of hazing once again rekindles the discussion and forces us to face the reality that no amount of legislation is going to stop this form of violence.

Everyone, including our steamed Senator Bato, has a personal opinion on the matter. From the first reported UP hazing fatality in 1954, up to the most recent PMA one, our schools, universities and colleges have not acually done anything substantial to eradicate it. The act of putting these young people through their paces to prove their worth in joining an organization is an institution in itself. Many who have successfully survived hazing wear it as a badge of honor. To have suffered the torture (both physical and psychological), to have borne the humiliation, to have triumphed over the stupidity must certainly evoke a twistedted sense of pride.

And yet, what is hazing really? If we have to be honest, it is the purest form of abuse — institutionalized systematic bullying. No matter what all the laws and amended laws may call it, that’s what it is. Only worse than what we think we know. Think about it. When you get bullied, you are subjected to oppression by others more powerful than you in all possible ways with no way of standing up for yourself. Tortured by those physically stronger, psychologically more devious, politically superior. Leaving the bullied unable to fight back, or not being able to win this fight. How many of us have been picked on or witnessed another being tortured? Not just in school, really. In life even as adults. Chismis when carried to extremes is a way of bullying. Giving someone the cold shoulder in an awkward social situation is a way of bullying. It is an act of aggression that goes on throughout all our lives.

But what makes hazing more horrific is the fact that the victim voluntarily submits to this indignity. Walks into the circumstance knowingly and with eyes wide shut, aware that hell lies ahead. Being complicit to what will be done. The total stripping away of dignity is worse when one willingly allows the self to be disrespected, humiliated, battered and hurt — all in the quest to be accepted as a peer. Perhaps one reason why I’ve never been eager to join an organization is because I can’t comprehend the need to be accepted by others as more valuable than the need to accept myself.

Perhaps there is some misguided desire to subject a person to the test of fire to determine their worth. In Visayan, there is a word that is used to describe this — “himbisan”. To remove the scales which cover and protect the fish. To see what’s underneath, to see the true self. In theory it is easy to understand the physicality of hazing. After all, the PMA is the bastion which forges the military leader. Or so they claim. For the most part, they do okay. The ability to withstand extreme physical conditions is after all the mark of a good soldier.

But how does one regulate hazing? How far can legislature allow it? The true purpose of any act of this kind is to break the individual, with the goal of reshaping them into some new and improved version after they’ve been shattered. And yet no one has really done any serious studies as to how people are permanently affected and scarred by it. I would think that anyone who has been subjected to hazing carries a seed of retaliation within. And as we all know, when revenge is recycled again and again, it tends to become more brutal with each incarnation.

We, Pinoys, are vengeful creatures. Yes, we are. We allow ourselves to be oppressed while, at the same time, cultivating a need to get even. Look around. We don’t really seek to get out from under oppression. We seek to give back worse than we get. Rido, “tanum kawayan,” “makabawi.” Terms which are part of our language. We are a people fueled by vengefulness. This is why the culture of hazing is never going away. Bullying is never going away. We don’t have it in our nature to stand up for ourselves, and yet we will spend the rest of our lives plotting revenge.

In a military organization, the issue of hierarchy further entrenches the hazing culture. Subordinates are expected to kowtow to superiors. In the case of Darwin, being a plebe sealed his fate. As lowest of the low, there was no way he was going to be able to walk away from what killed him, short of leaving the PMA, since it was his lifelong dream to follow in his father’s footsteps. Actually, the bravest of the brave have done that. Left. Dropped out. The noble few who stood their ground and said this place isn’t worth it.

So who now are weak and cowardly? Those who walked away because they didn’t want to allow themselves to be treated so cruelly? Or those who chose to stay and suffer in their desire to be accepted? I guess that’s an argument for the ages. Courage and cowardice are relative matters. Sadly, death is not.