Surrender the delusion

Netnet Camomot

MY younger bros grew up with “Star Wars.”

I grew up with, hmmm, “The Deer Hunter”: “I love you baby/And if it’s quite all right/I need you baby/To warm the lonely nights/I love you baby/Trust in me when I say.”

It’s a song that may bring me back to younger days, if only I could memorize it. I would sound sure and loud at first: “I love you baby/And if it’s quite all right/I need you baby…”

And then, I forget the rest: “La… la… la…”

There’s this note-to-self in my minute brain, a tip I read years ago, about memorizing at least one song until it becomes my signature, you know, the tune I would sing at every occasion in case a fellow guest would dare me to break into song.

Cagayan de Oro City Mayor Oscar Moreno probably read that same tip since he has learned to burst into “What a Wonderful World” each time he’s asked to: “I see trees of green, red roses too/I see them bloom for me and you/And I think to myself what a wonderful world.”

But that world is less wonderful now for “Star Wars” fans who are mourning the loss of their Princess Leia.

No matter how many times I watch “Star Wars” movies, I still can’t relate with most of its details, prompting my eyes to glaze over. Even my pamangkins know more about the franchise now and they were born at least 16 years after the first movie came out in 1977!

What was I doing in 1977? Waiting for “The Deer Hunter” which debuted a year later.

I was too old when “Star Wars” came out. The young ones gushed over R2-D2 and, uh, what’s the name of that other robot? C-3PO! I was busy reading Harold Robbins’ books.

I did gush over Mark Hamill. Even collected newspaper clippings that starred him.

Yeah, I noticed Princess Leia’s doughnut ears, but found Han Solo to be old. Much older than me, that is.

I’ve always had this way of looking at people: they’re old, I’m not. Only to realize we’re the same age. O my gas.

My bros’ likes and dislikes usually rub off on me, until I start to believe I’m a fan or a non-fan. Here’s the perfect example: I watched Morrissey’s concert. That kind of “rub off.”

The type of music I listen to has been greatly influenced by the music they played at home, that’s why my playlist has Pearl Jam, U2, Police, Sting, Coldplay, Duran Duran, Tears for Fears… But they will never like Madonna—they won’t watch her concert even if they’re paid P1 million. P100 million? They’ll probably reconsider.

What I remember most of “Star Wars,” though, is not the movie but Carrie Fisher’s books. The other side or the real side of Princess Leia was her writing. She was funny, witty, and I cried upon learning about her passing because she won’t be writing anymore.

We, the living, are selfish that way. We cry, we mourn a loss, because we want the one who’s gone to be back here with us.

In “Postcards from the Edge,” her first book which was published in 1987, she wrote, “Life is a cruel, horrible joke and I am the punch line.”

Here’s one more: “There are two things that I know for certain guys are good for: pushing swings and killing insects.”

Spiders, cockroaches, unidentified crawling objects—I’m the damsel in distress. But with no knight in shining armor, I have to find other ways: Zzzzzt.

In “Surrender the Pink,” she wrote, “When she reached the bar, she ordered the equivalent of a small safe to be dropped on her head.”

Tequila, anyone?

“Delusions of Grandma”: “And a lot of the time I remember what was missing instead of what was there. I am a chronicler of absence.”

What I miss most nowadays is reading books. And the Princess’s passing is a reminder to read again.

I’ve not watched “Rogue One” yet. I would have watched it on its first week with Kim Daguman and Ramil Caballero aka Jack Fryday but they’re now in that “galaxy far, far away”—the country where “Star Wars” was made.

One of the many reasons “Star Wars” will always have a special place in my heart is this: I picked “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” as our Rotary club’s first ever block screening. Kim was its project chair. This was last year when I was president, and I did a happy dance once the reservation was secured, with much thanks to Gigi Go.

That block screening was on Dec. 17, 2015. That’s why I learned the truth at 17.

Fisher reportedly had finished her scenes for the next “Star Wars” movie, so, I guess we’ll be able to see the Princess again on its scheduled release date, Dec. 15, 2017. Premiere, anyone?