Rich people problems

Netnet Camomot . 

THERE are books whose sentences, paragraphs and chapters have to be read at least twice as you wait for the book to say, It’s not you, it’s me.

Or you lack focus. The book is neither here nor there. You need to retake English 101. And then, there’s the eureka moment: Aha! This book doesn’t spark joy!

Diets also don’t spark joy and they require food that doesn’t spark joy. Imagine having a goat’s diet daily—mainly grass, which of course sparks joy for the goat. But the dieter would rather have kalderetang kambing.

A millennial lost 30 pounds in three months through diet and exercise. Can senior-moment fats melt away that fast without strenuous exercise?

Most seniors are advised to take it easy and to indulge in light exercises such as brisk walking unless that’s to the buffet table. Even if the distance between the senior and that table is at least three kilometers, the caloric output through walking will surely be less than the caloric intake from the lechon, dinuguan, paklay, crispy pata, roast beef, beefsteak and kaldereta.

Other light exercises for the senior are yoga, biking and swimming.

The trampoline workout, circuit training, boxing and other heavy exercises are for millennials and those younger than them, while the young at heart learns how to prevent injuries.

Some seniors who have been there, done that with injuries due to exercise have learned their lessons well and would rather be the audience in a spectator sport such as the Kris-Aquino-Nicko-Falcis-Gretchen-Greta-Barretto-Alice-Eduardo relay.

Alice who? Well, she owns Sta. Elena Construction and Development Corporation. According to Barretto a.k.a. Greta, Eduardo had tax problems during the term of Pres. Noynoy Aquino when Kris was the Queen of All Media. In case you’ve been hibernating in Siberia, here’s Greta’s grating reveal about Eduardo: “She was being charged hundreds of millions or billions of pesos po at tinulungan po ni Kris Aquino kay Kim Henares if I’m not mistaken, para mapababa ang kanyang ibabayad kay Kim Henares o sa gobyerno natin.”

Henares was then the Bureau of Internal Revenue (BIR) commissioner.

“Pinagkakalat din ni Alice Eduardo at ng kanyang mga kapatid na tinulungan ni Kris Aquino at ang halaga lang daw ay binabayaran lang daw ng mga pinangsa-shopping ni Gary Garcia, the gay friend from LA, na he would buy things from the States and send those to Kris Aquino,”  Barretto added.

Oh, so that’s where some of Kris’ branded collections come from?

Eduardo’s “kapatid” that Barretto was referring to is supposedly Small Laude, the wife of billionaire Philip Laude.

If the only names you’re familiar with are that of Kris, Barretto and Falcis, well, welcome to the clueless club—hindi ka nag-iisa.

Multi-billion and -million taxes are part of rich people problems. For example, what if a taipan posts this on Facebook: Taxes due—P89.82 million. Darn.

But it was later reduced to P199,415.80. Yay.

President Rody Duterte, however, said that the taipan owed the government P30 billion in taxes. Perhaps he meant income taxes? The P199 thousand reduced tax was for some other transaction.

The tax system in Pinas is so complicated and the Tax Reform for Acceleration and Inclusion a.k.a. Train has been expected to simplify that.

But there’s no need to learn about tax laws if you want to know why the Pinoy doesn’t love paying taxes. Because it’s unfair: the rich relies on connections to lower their tax payments, while politicians use government funds for their public-image projects.

Raise your hand if you’ve had enough of a politician’s face on tarpaulins. It’s always about him, but never about the Pinoy who pays taxes to make the politician’s projects possible. The taipan probably wanted some acknowledgement, too, of his contribution to the national treasury but since that wasn’t happening, a little over P199 thousand would do. Tsk tsk. Retail store owners in Cagayan de Oro are paying way more than that for their taxes and they’re not even taipans, they’re not featured in Forbes’ billionaires list, and their rich people problem for now is how to take good care of their branded bag collection.

By the way, “Crazy Rich Asians” author Kevin Kwan has a book titled, “Rich People Problems.” The Pinoy who wants to be rich someday should read that book.

As for my reading list, I’m still stuck with Susan Choi’s “American Woman” which didn’t spark joy at first, but now that it does, I’ve returned to its first page so I could understand its plot. Bookworm problems. Whew.