Friends

Ben Contreras .

SOME friends are not what they seem although some seem to be like friends.

Whenever I’m asked if he my friend, there is always that difficulty of answering “yes” or “no.” We seem to have accepted the notion that when someone is not your enemy, then that someone must be or ought to be your friend. Some are very careful in their answer like “I know him” instead of a direct “yes.”

There are three definitions I found through Google. 1. A friend is a one who you can depend upon no matter what his current situation might be. 2. A friend is someone who you know well and like but who is not related to you. 3. A friend is a person you know well and regard with affection and trust.

When one claims to have many friends, chances are, he means he/she has many acquaintances. When one is a leader, he has many acquaintances because a leader always has followers. When one is rich and powerful, many are drawn to him for many reasons. When one is smart and intelligent, people go to him for consultation. Thus, people are likely to claim friendship for many different reasons other than being a true friend.

Personally, I value friendship whatever meaning is put to it. Looking back, I believe I have put real meaning to it not just in words but in deeds. Whatever and whoever you are, be it a total stranger or an old acquaintance, I simply deal with you in the most civil and sincere way possible.

The good vibes I feel for a person get the best of me when I am wont to do more than one probably could ask for. But it can also be disappointing when that person turned out to be undeserving.

Friends we all must have because no man is an island and also because we do not live for ourselves alone. Betrayals can be painful and ugly and one can be vengeful. So, most of the time, I just shun the person who betrays me.

If friendship is measured by the number of people you’re seen with, then I have a few. But with all humility, I am always comforted by the fact that I am with people because I am comfortable with them as they are comfortable with me.

One time I was asked. What is with you two when he is much older than you? He could be your father already. I smiled. When one needs company and he chooses you, would that be too much to ask for when you have the most available time for him?

People simply need people. A child needs a playmate. A man seeks for his soul mate. When you’re alone in a sea of strangers, you pick one to speak with the way one may choose you. You touch a child’s head because you missed someone your own. You smile back when one is smiling at you. These little things, little acts can sometime make your day. Hence, it’s a wonder why we have to quarrel with someone for no reason at all or unnecessarily when a word could break the ice and do the trick.

The e-mail I got from a relative is timely: “And then it is winter.” It’s about aging. How true it is.

Today, our children look at us the way we look at our parents once upon a time. Tigulang na man diay atong mga ginikanan. We didn’t even notice that until we felt something; less strength, easy to get tired, a painful spots here and there and the greater itch to find a few minutes to rest. Then we realize that indeed, we are of age and sigh, indeed, how fast time flies.

At this stage, don’t waste your time for nothing and do the things you really want to do in life. And when you decide to do, please include making friends, not war. The time is getting late for us. Make the best of it.