When it reigns, it’s fore

Netnet Camomot .

LAST week was kind of, when it rains, it pours.

Wellmed Dialysis Center’s owner Bryan Christopher Sy was arrested, President Rody Duterte asked Philippine Health Insurance Corporation’s bigwigs to resign, Kabus Padatoon (Kapa) Ministry International founder Pastor Joel Apolinario insisted his group is not into investment scams, Kingdom of Jesus Christ founder Pastor Apollo Quiboloy continued to believe he is “The Appointed Son of God,” and Gazini Ganados was crowned as Miss Universe Philippines 2019 despite her NI—needs improvement—in the Q&A department.

And all along we thought beauty pageants have levelled up to brains plus beauty, but it’s more like advocacy plus beauty as majority of this year’s Binibining Pilipinas candidates tried to emulate Miss Universe 2018 Catriona Gray’s winning touch with her advocacy. Most probably they’ve not heard of the saying, “To each his own”?

Binibini judge Bobby Barreiro asked Ganados, “If you win the crown tonight, what can you do to get more women in the workplace?”

Her winning answer was: “If I win the crown tonight, what I do is to promote my advocacy. My advocacy is for us women to fight for our rights and for the elderly women and for us to know that someone is loving us, someone is pushing us to whatever ambitions that we have. We will be able to rise from our decisions, to whatever dreams that we have, the goals that we have, and we will achieve it because of those values, that wisdom that they gave us. Thank you.”

So, she will “get more women in the workplace” by promoting her advocacy. That’s her winning answer? Juice colored. Memorize pa more.

A beauty pageant candidate is trained to answer questions and once she has been there, done that and is now a pageant veteran like Ganados, all she has to do is to recall a memorized answer that she can somehow use for a particular question. Well, supposedly, reportedly, allegedly.

Here’s unsolicited advice for a beauty pageant candidate: “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything,” as the saying goes.

Wellmed owner Sy may have to start memorizing appropriate answers to possible questions, too, now that he has to face the many allegations against him and his dialysis center.

Wellmed is not the one and only in the tip of the iceberg that the Philippine Health Insurance Corp. (Philhealth) has been allegedly nurturing for several years. Since it takes two to tango, there’s a rumor that some Philhealth people are also involved.

But Apolinario must be the most worried among those recently accused of transgressions now that the kabus he promised to padatoon with blessings have to wait until the tip of his iceberg tips over and proves his Kapa is not an investment scam. But then, he can easily blame Kapa’s inability to return any blessing on Duterte and those who raided the Kapa offices.

Last week, Kapa had a prayer rally in General Santos City to convince Duterte that it’s not an investment scam. But it’s beginning to look a lot like only “The Appointed Son of God” can tell if a religious group is into scams or not.

Sen. Manny Pacquiao is from General Santos City. If there’s any connection between him and Kapa, that’s merely a figment of your wild imagination. Hehe. But once it’s “The Appointed Son of God” convincing you that indeed there’s a connection between Pacquiao and Apolinario, will you be convinced?

In case you haven’t noticed, the initials of Pastor Apollo Carreón Quiboloy is PACQ, which could be the, uh, synonym, er, “acronym” term for Kapa if the word “mo” is added to it.

So, it’s now PACQ versus Kapa? Add Duterte’s p*t*ng in* to that, and there’s your religious neighbor exclaiming, Que horror!

Despite the plastic waste that other countries are dumping in Pinas, the Pinoy is no longer plastic with his spontaneous expressions, thanks—or no thanks?—to the president’s spontaneity with p*t*ng in*.

At least one Pinoy heaved a deep sigh of relief upon realizing the country now has a down-to-earth president whom he doesn’t have to tiptoe around. That Pinoy has learned to accept the president as he is no matter how many times the latter blurts out curses in his extemporaneous speeches.

But Duterte could be the epitome of “actions speak louder than words,” with those curses in his speeches merely the cherry on top of the icing on the cake.

Well, his curses are also kind of, when it rains, it pours. You may count them as his speech progresses. Be ready with your tabulation skills.