One-way street

Netnet Camomot

MY sister has lost 15 pounds. I have lost… Wait, let’s calculate the ways. I have lost my mind, my sanity, and my sense of humor. Oh, well. At least I’m still opinionated. Bwahahaha!

Powerful and moneyed men continue to be revealed as dirty old men (DOMs), er, as sexual harassers and assaulters, and that should remind those who haven’t been revealed yet to keep their hands to themselves. Or to indulge in “sariling sikap,” that is, if these foreigners can discover its English translation which starts with the letter M.

Manok? Hmmm, no. But you’re too chicken if you’ve not found yet what M means.

M as in Memes? Hmmm, no, but there are lots of memes in this column.

The latest DOM, er, harasser to be revealed is John Lasseter, the brains behind Pixar, Disney Animation, and DisneyToon Studios. He’s touted to be the new millennium’s Walt Disney with “Toy Story,” “Toy Story 2,” “Cars,” “Cars 2,” “A Bug’s Life,” “The Incredibles,” “Frozen,” “Inside Out,” “Wall-E,” etc. His latest film is “Coco” which opened last Wednesday. A guy incharge of making kids happy has yucky ways of making himself happy. Pathetic, eh?

Ask a Pinay about her share of yucky experiences with yucky DOMs, and let’s see if she’ll tell the truth and nothing but the truth. Usually, she prefers to be the Maria Clara, keeping her mouth shut and choosing to move forward.

Lasseter released a memo to his staff, saying, “It’s been brought to my attention that I have made some of you feel disrespected or uncomfortable. That was never my intent. Collectively, you mean the world to me, and I deeply apologize if I have let you down. I especially want to apologize to anyone who has ever been on the receiving end of an unwanted hug or any other gesture they felt crossed the line in any way, shape, or form. No matter how benign my intent, everyone has the right to set their own boundaries and have them respected.”

He’s on leave for six months “to take some time away to reflect on how to move forward from here.”

“My hope is that a six-month sabbatical will give me the opportunity to start taking better care of myself, to recharge and be inspired, and ultimately return with the insight and perspective I need to be the leader you deserve,” he further says in that memo, and adds, “I wish you all a wonderful holiday season and look forward to working together again in the new year.”

I could almost hear the women among his staff cringe, in reaction to his “working together again in the new year.”

I don’t know why obnoxious men can’t tell if what they’re giving is “an unwanted hug or any other gesture” that “crossed the line in any way, shape, or form.” A one-way street is obvious—there are road signs, there’s the Roads and Traffic Administration enforcer frantically waving his arms in his futile attempt to stop the clueless, plus the drivers of other cars shouting, One-way street ni!

There’s a meme for the guy who doesn’t obey these signs: “People are such drama queens with their car horn. It’s like, okay, I get it, I’m going the wrong way on a one-way street, chill the eff out.”

There’s also a meme for the pedestrian who doesn’t trust those signs: “I look both ways before crossing a one-way street. That’s how little faith I have left in humanity.”

And in case a woman will still dare to apply as a Pixar animator, here’s a third meme for a question that Lasseter won’t have to reply to now that he’s on leave: “A programmer crosses a one-way street looking one way. A second programmer crosses the same street looking both ways. Who would you hire?”

But the funniest meme on one-way streets could be this: “A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she’d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: ‘Do you know where you were going?’ Blonde: ‘No, but wherever it is, it must be bad ‘cause all the people were leaving.’”

Victims of sexual harassers and assaulters are sometimes depicted as dumb blondes who are willing to be used, misused, and abused as long as that helps them climb the ladder to success. Tsk tsk.

Blond or not, man or woman, no one deserves to be treated in any way below the level of decency.

Still, the creepiest man of all is the guy who believes he’s God’s gift to women and/or men. Yikes!

And then, there’s the closeted gay guy who’s trying to prove he’s a man by sexually harassing and assaulting women. Or by behaving like a gossiping woman, always believing in chismis without asking for the truth and nothing but the truth. There is no end! But try to observe where his hand is going—uh, it’s squeezing your hubby’s knee. Beware before it reaches the manok.

Hmmm, what’s the other English translation for manok? Loading, buffering…