Who you?

HUMBA for lunch, humba again for dinner at the hotel’s buffet. After all that humba, the only carbs the tummy could accommodate is that one piece of California maki. As dessert. Burp.

What is it with humba and the carnivore wannabe? It’s there to convince the wannabe to fully switch to carnivore already.

Congratulate me for ignoring the halo-halo section at the buffet. And the ice cream section. And the cakes and pastries section. I mean, had I ever left some churros and hot chocolate untouched during my high-carb days? Never. But this time, I passed by the churros as if they were mortal enemies that deserve to be asked, Who you?

After that feast at the hotel on Day 1, though, I’m now convinced home-cooked meals are still the best. I was craving for bangus belly paksiw upon arriving at my staycation destination despite the fact that I knew the hotel has a steakhouse at its lobby.

The hotel’s breakfast buffet is free. Yeah, please define free. Haha. This changes the OMAD—one meal a day—sked. Should I move that from dinner to breakfast now?

OMAD and the carnivore diet are difficult to do while on vacation since I may want to eat more than once a day, and try everything on the menu of the hotel, restos, and cafes.

When it’s my first time to stay at a particular hotel, I always check out what it has to offer. But I never ask about its gym. Haha.

At least I went to the pool bar. Not to swim for now. But for a drink. That is, if you can call Coke Zero as a drink. Had to order something, anything, so I won’t be accused of overstaying while writing this column.

While people-watching at the poolside, it’s easy to separate the swimmers from the non-swimmers. The non-swimmers tend to include me in their swimming by flapping around, thereby, splashing some water on me despite my two-meter distance from the pool.

The swimmer, on the other hand, glides along so gracefully while perhaps counting the number of laps he has already done. And he swims along the middle part of the pool, while the rest stay on the side, careful not to disturb what seems to be his daily exercise.

I actually asked about the kiddie pool: how many feet? Two, the wait staff replied. Ah, hehe.

By 9:15 pm, swimmers were still arriving for what would be the last 45 minutes before the pool’s closing time at 10 pm. I think this is the perfect time to swim, kind of a meditation before bedtime.

Since this is a hotel, the swimmers are of various nationalities and the only dialogue I could understand is that of the Pinoy—Cebuano and Tagalog. The lifeguard uses sign language in relaying pool rules to foreigners who seem to understand what he means. If only it were that easy, too, to achieve world peace.

By 10 pm when the pool closes, swimmers are still ordering food and drinks from the bar which closes at 11 pm. No fasting and feasting windows around here.